Products I Regret Purchasing

The products are: Sexy Hair Straight Sexy Hair Aerated Anti-Frizz and Shine Spray, MAC Blush Ombre Azalea Blossom, NYC Chroma Face Glow Moonstone, MAC Beauty Powder Tahitian Sand, Maybelline Baby Lips Fruit Punch, Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Dark Circle Eraser, Physician's Formula Organic Wear Jumbo Lash Mascara, Wet'n'Wild Lipstick 528A, NYX Concealer in A Jar, Revlon ColorStay Ultimate Liquid Lipstick Miracle Mauve, Essie To Buy or Not To Buy, and China Glaze Smoke and Ashes.

Straight Sexy Hair: I find this product helps with frizz, but it does so by making my hair feel weighed down and look greasy. It also has an awful and very strong scent. 1 out of 5. No recommendation here.

MAC blush: The ombre effect is nice to look at, but this one is odd. It's got a warm, yellow-y pink that fades into a cool, lilac. Once applied the color is actually very pretty with or without the ombre, but the texture is very hard and not as blendable as I'd prefer. 1 out of 5. No recs.

NYC Moonstone: I actually swapped for this product, but I have the same issues with it as I do with the MAC blush. It's very hard, difficult to pick up product, and it barely shows up on my skin. 1 out of 5. No recs.

MAC Beauty Powder: Also hard and difficult to work with. Provides absolutely no color, which makes it pretty much useless as it doesn't even add a soft-lit glow to the face or anything.

Maybelline Baby Lips: While this is moisturizing, I find the flavor nauseating, and the color doesn't work on my skin. It is a pretty color, though, and I know that other people could enjoy it. It's just not for me. 3 out of 5. Would recommend for cooler skintones and people who desire bright pinks that are moisturizing.

Maybelline Concealer: This product helps with dark circles, but the packaging is awful. When I first bought it, I really liked the sponge, and I still do, but at some point the top just exploded off of it which resulted in a lot of wasted product as when I popped it back in, a ton of product squirted out. I like the texture, but I dislike the color range. I know a lot of people would be able to find satisfaction in this product, packaging issues aside, so I give it a 3 out of 5.

Physician's Formula Mascara: This is a very dry mascara. I heard a lot of great reviews about this, so I decided to try it, and I absolutely hate it. It does make my lashes look nice, but it's extremely dry and clumps easily. Despite the dry formula, it also smudges all over my face without me even touching my eyes. The packaging is disgusting and obnoxious, too. 2 out of 5, because it does make my lashes look great, and I know a lot of people really like this.

Wet 'n' Wild Lipstick: This is just a terrible color for me, and it's extremely frosty. I'm not into frosty. 3 out of 5.

NYX Concealer: Hard to find a good color match, very drying, doesn't last well on the skin no matter what primer I use, doesn't cover well. 2 out of 5.

Revlon ColorStay Liquid Lipstick: This never sets on the lips. It always feel wet and sticky, and it's supposed to be a long-wearing product, but it's not. It stays sticky all day which is uncomfortable, and it will rub off onto everything. 1 out of 5.

Essie To Buy or Not To Buy: I regret this one because it's very similar to Revlon's Lilac Pastelle, and it has these beautiful shimmer particles that do not show up on the nail at all. I love Lilac Pastelle, and I was hoping that this would be a bit different with the glitter, but it looks exactly the same. Formula is fine, though, and I'll still use it. I would not repurchase. 3 out of 5.

China Glaze: Smoke and Ashes: This polish looks amazing in the bottle with all the multi-colored, multi-dimensional glitter, but the glitter hardly shows up on the nail. It just looks like a black polish. I am keeping this one as a memento of The Hunger Games, or perhaps better described as a collector's item. I would not repurchase this product. 3 out of 5.

August 2010 Favorites (because I can't make a video --stupid iMovie)

- sulfur soap
- Burt's Bees Herbal Blemish Stick
- Earth Therapeutics Complexion Brush
- L'Oreal Go 360 Clean Deep Cream Cleanser
- OPI "What's with The Cattitude?"
- OPI "Pamplona Purple" with Sally Hansen "Hidden Treasure" over it
- Wet'n'Wild MegaLast "Club Havana"
- Neutrogena Healthy Skin Liquid Makeup SPF 20
- Wet'n'Wild ColorIcon palette "Vanity"
- Prestige Waterproof Eyeliner pencil "Granite"
- Bath and Body Works "Orange Sapphire" lotion and body spray
- MAC lipstick "Sandy B"
- Revlon Super Lustrous lip gloss "Firecracker"
- Soft Lips Pure 100% Natural Lip Polish

Perhaps I'll upload photos later? I'm pretty annoyed that my iMovie isn't working at the moment. So enjoy this fabulous list of fabulous products that I loved this month.

My eye makeup today.

Using my new MAC Pro goodies, I came up with this:

It could use some improvement, of course, but this is my first draft.

I used Aqua all over the lid with Bright Sunshine in the inner-corner, Bottle Green in the crease (which is being washed out---ugh), and I have Vibrant Grape on the bottom lash line. I used Vellum as my highlight.

As a base I used my ELF Stupid eye primer, NYX Jumbo Pencils in Yellow, Milk, and Lavender. I used a L'oreal HiP Color Truth e/l in black, and I used NYX Sapphire e/l pencil in Sapphire on the lower lashline.

It's a lot darker in person. :o/

It's not raining! why?!

I've been going to sleep at a relatively early time every night, and that's nice and all, but it ultimately doesn't matter because I will inevitably wake up at six in the morning, take my medicine, and be back asleep by ten. From there, I will sleep until four or five, unless I have something I need to do, like I did on Tuesday. For the record, though, when I did all the things I needed to do on Tuesday, I went to sleep. This gives me a total of ten to twelve hours a day being awake. People wonder why I'm unproductive. It isn't my fault though. I literally get to a point in the middle of the day that I just cannot stay awake any longer. I get dead tired, as if I have not slept in days. I am blaming it on the medications, but I suppose it could be anything. It causes a lot of problems with school, since I usually plan my schedule to be an eight to twelve hour day, just to keep myself occupied. Last semester I had to give myself a four hour break in the day because I got totally screwed with registration, AND I needed to have that four hours to take a nap. 

In other news, the MAC Colour Craft collection was released online yesterday and is released in stores today, and I am not as thrilled with all the colors as I thought I would be, but there are two items that I really want and one that I really, really want. I am trying to tell myself that I really don't need any of it, but that's an impossible idea. It's nonsense. 

I have decided that my main problem is simply that I am severely over-stimulated. It's distracting. 

I really like my new nail polish. 

Now I am feeling very tired, and I shall take my daily nap.

Public Enemies

Yes. Yes. Yes.   I have been waiting for this movie for ages, and now that I have seen it, something has been fulfilled (duh). Johnny Depp played the perfect John Dillinger, and Christian Bale played the perfect Melvin Purvis by making him like the complete idiot he was. And of course, the beautiful Marion Cotillard played her part as Billie Frechette perfectly, as she always does. She, being quite endearing by her own account, made the character very endearing, and it was heartbreaking to watch her cry at the end. I am very disappointed that the end of the movie did not say that the prostitute who sold Dillinger out in hopes of staying in America instead of being deported back to shitty Romania was later deported anyway, which means she sold out her friend who trusted her for nothing. Tsk tsk. There were a couple of inaccuracies, such as Frechette's arrest, but overall, they are easy to overlook. Everything about the film was very well done. 

Next up: BRUNO! He is a much better character than Borat, so this one promises to be more funny. And I do love me some Sacha Baron Cohen. He is hot when he's not dressed as an Austrian homosexual, and he's damn funny when he is. (and he has the most Jewish name EVER) I think the latter sentence is an example of zeugma, but I can't be sure as I'm not sure I understand the definition of that word just yet. 

9 July the Colour Craft collection is being released by MAC, and I am just hoping that I'm not as impressed with the colors as I think I'll be. That way I won't want to buy anything, and I definitely won't be disappointed when I don't get anything. I love their MSFs. That's really all I like from MAC. MSFs and lip products. I suppose their brighter eye shadows are nice, too. I still really want Chrome Yellow and Sushi Flower. 

Yesterday I bought the best thing of my life: Soap and Glory's Flake Away body polishing scrub. It is amazing. It exfoliates really well without being painful, smells delicious, and leaves skin feeling super soft. It apparently has moisturizers in it as well because after I used it, I didn't feel as if I needed any lotion, though now I am tempted to buy Soap and Glory body butter or something. While out I also picked up Rimmel Sexy Curves mascara to try it since I hear it's good, and I love mascaras. I have not opened it yet because I have a lot of mascaras opened at the moment, and I don't want to have to throw away a bunch of mascara because I couldn't use it all up. 

My Only MAC Eyeshadow: Warm Chill

I'd post a photo, but seriously--you can google. It was a limited edition color that was released with the Cool Heat collection summer '08. And I saw it at my CCO, and I was like "ooh that's pretty" and bought it for cheaps (almost half it's normal price, actually). I didn't test it in the store, which wasn't a good idea, but anyway--here's what I have to say. I NEVER USE IT. It's a pretty green/blue with a gold duo-chrome (it's a frost). When it's applied without a base, it doesn't really show up. It looks like a very light gold shimmer, which is pretty, but not what I wanted. When I put it on with a base, it's a more vibrant gold shimmer, almost yellow, but still very little green. It can be layered to be a very subtle blue/green with a beautiful gold shimmer, and that's what I like. I've considered swapping it on MUA, but then I'm like "no, it's pretty!" because I really like the gold duo-chrome. I also really love the little pots MAC eyeshadows are in, but they're plastic, and that's bad. I'm thinking that if I ever feel the need to buy more MAC eye shadows, I should just get a 15 pan pro-palette and buy the individual panned shadows. They're cheaper than the potted ones anyway. (The little pots aren't really that bad though because you can Back2MAC them, and they recycle them...or rather reuse.) Anyway, I plan to put my eye shadow to better use, poor lonely eye shadow. 

I was on the MAC website last night checking out new things, and I created a huge lipstick/lipglass wish list. Ridiculous. I really like MAC's lip products. I would call them their standout products, but that's just me (probably). And I need more purple/fuchsia lipsticks! And I still cannot wait for the black lipglasses. Lancome sells black gloss, but it's overpriced, so I'm happy that MAC is doing it! They have pretty sparkles in them, too. Oh, if only October would come faster! (I'm sure it will be here soon enough, after my awful birthday). 

I entered a contest to win a really neat (and good!) self-tanning thingamajig. I hope I win. I want pretty color. And it also just seems fun. And if I don't like it, I can swapsies! 

My mom is planning to put a pond in the yard somewhere (she would prefer the back since it's like a jungle, but the dogs would play in it and stuff), and I'm thinking we could tuck my turtles in there! That way they can be outside where they belong, but they will still be with me, and I can watch them grow up, and it'll be so cute. I want a pond! 

I haven't slept yet. 

Fail. Fail. Fail. All fails away!

So there is this SWEET deal at maccosemetics.com right now, and today's the last day. Free shipping, AND 25% off. Now, there aren't many things from MAC that I MUST have, but there is one thing, one little thing. It's a brush. I cannot find a brush like it ANYWHERE, and I need it. It's like 50USD though, and I cannot justify 50USD on a brush that I'm only going to be using on my own face at all. With a 25% discount, it would almost be justifiable, and almost is enough for me. But no, no, I'm not really allowed to spend money right this second, not during the THREE DAY SALE ON THE INTERNET. Thanks, MAC. You have impeccable timing, as always, like with Hello Kitty. And why did I not know that Fresh Brew was a permanent color? If I had known, I would not have bought it with HK. I would have bought one of the other, LE lipsticks instead. FAIL. 

In other news, someone drank all of my grape juice. ALL of my grape juice. Mind you, I drank most of it, but someone else finished MY BOTTLE OF GRAPE JUICE. Grape juice is my life. Grape juice is my second to water. If I had had my grape juice the other day instead of a CamelBak travel with a detached straw that was full of water, I would not have burned the shit out of my tongue with naproxen sodium. No. I would have washed it down, coating and all, with some sweet grape juice. I would not have a caustic burn SCAR on my tongue right now. I wouldn't have an extremely sensitive, painful spot on my tongue right now. My life would be significantly better if the grape juice had been there. 

The next time I buy grape juice, I am stockpiling it, and I will keep it all in my closet (because I definitely have the space), and I will always have grape juice. Forever. This will keep things like chemical burns in my mouth at bay. My life will be better. It's the little things, people. 

Also, this shopping habit has to stop. I hate having all this Stuff. It's ridiculous. I don't like it. 

I do, however, really like my NYX Jumbo Pencil in Black Bean. It is the smoothest one, and it worked amazingly for my Amanda Palmer makeup the other day. It made the perfect blood-red for my eyeshadow that I needed, and then I could use brown without looking like an idiot. It was fantastic, and my makeup was fantastic, and if I ever get the photos back I will make a slideshow, and I will submit it, and I will hope that I win because I really like winning, especially when the winning is talent based, and I've been feeling awfully low on my talent lately. 

I cannot decide if I like my Chanel better or if I like Juicy Couture better, the scents. I could sit and sniff them all day to decide, but I'd get a migraine, and since my brain is quite sensitive and migraine happy since I take awesome drugs that like to cause migraines, I'm not really in the mood to do that. 

I just spend three hours on blogtv. I love blogtv. It allows me to vicariously watch Intervention and laugh hysterically at incredibly awesome human beings. It somehow manages to give me a sense of hope in humanity or something. 

Now I feel like I need to watch and/or quote Clueless. 

Another thing, when my boyfriend is busy, and I call him, I expect him to do the respectful thing and ignore my call, like hit the ignore button. He never does. He either lets it ring until it goes to voicemail, or he answers and says he's busy. Both of which I hate. So I called him earlier to tell him something really exciting (and now I've forgotten what it was), but it was actually relevant to him, and I needed to tell him in real time, not through voicemail, and HE IGNORED MY PHONE CALL. Why? Just why. I mean seriously. THE ONE TIME. WHY?! 

I am so excited about Public Enemies it's not even funny. I am very confused about what role Marion Cotillard is actually playing, and I'm too lazy to IMDB that shit, so I'll stay confused until I see the movie THE DAY IT COMES TO THEATERS. I'm sure I've never discussed my interest in criminals, particularly bank robbers and serial killers. Now, John Dillinger was not a serial killer (or was he? hmmm ponder ponder), but he did rob banks, and I am fascinated by this bank robbing. So I am excited about this movie, and I need to see it, and besides that Johnny Depp makes a hot John Dillinger. And Marion Cotillard is just cute. How can you not want to pet her? or make friends with her? or just stare at her adorable little Frenchie face? I haven't been this excited about a movie since, like, that movie that was a huge letdown. You know the one. Watchmen. Huge disappointment. Huge. Epic. FAIL. 

I am also particularly excited about Harry Potter. It just looks really good. And I fucking love Harry Potter. 

Also, New Moon, just because Kristen Stewart looks totally hot in it, and that's a good enough reason for me. I believe I mentioned how much I hated that book, and I will probably suffer watching the movie, too, but it'll be worth it to see Kristen Stewart doing what she does best---being hot while being incredibly petulant and ungrateful and annoying and stupid and reckless and completely fucking pathetic. Hot is all that counts when it comes to these kinds of things. What else could anyone bring to Twilight? The raw material is shit. Also, Dakota Fanning plays one of the really mean, scary characters, and that has to be hilarious. HILARIOUS. I can just see it now. Hilarity will ensue. 

My car is hot. It needs air conditioning. I have to make all of my doctor appointments and such in the morning to avoid dying on the way. Therapy is only available in late afternoons though. Ugh. FAIL. 

I am pretty tired. 

Well, since my medicine is going to kill me.

I was out, and I came home, and my lungs hurt, and my throat hurts, and I feel really, really awful. I have used my inhaler like ten times, and well, that's not good. I guess I will call my doctor on Monday and get some stupid fucking "diagnosis" from my doctor. I am sure it will just be spring allergies aggravating my asthma. The usual. 

I really like the Voile slimshine from MAC. Thanks, love dove! It looks really good on my lips. 

I do NOT understand how people make videos for YouTube where they just talk. I am possibly entering a contest, and I could either do a live video or a photo montage, and I tried to do a video, but I felt really stupid talking to my computer, so I stopped. I can't do it. Photo montage it will be! I made my brother take pictures of my makeup for me since I apparently have Parkinson's. It actually came out really well, considering that I put like 10 minutes into it. It looked exactly as I meant it to look, which is rarely the case with me and my makeup. Unfortunately, it wasn't necessarily pretty because I meant for it to be slightly garish, and that's how it looked. Yay me! And I got waterproof lash glue in my eye. That was awful. 

I have set up another swap on MUA, but I forgot that I can't mail out my stuff until later this week. The person with whom I have arranged the swap is in Canada (boo higher shipping cost), and I am sending a liquid (which BLOWS) and some extra stuff, but she's so nice. She's like "so what else would you like me to send you?" as it is customary on MUA to send extras when swapping. Any extra makeup I have, I've either used (but not often) or give away or thrown away or something stupid, so I'm like "what extras can I send?!" I found some random lip gloss samples that I have (unused, obviously), and a moisturizer sample, and stuff along with the actual swap item. The shipping cost should be lower than the the total price of all the stuff I am sending. Since she lives in Canada, I know she cannot easily obtain the items I am sending, which pleases me. I cannot decide if I should send a lotion sample as well, in the same scent of the spray I am sending. Bath products are the only things I have that I don't use. So...

So about this illness type thing, I am a bit concerned. (Yoda ftw) I was visiting my cousin and her mini earlier, so I'm hoping that I am not incubating an infectious disease as I'd feel like an asshole if I made a baby sick. The small one got the hiccups while I was holding her. I forgot how nervous babies make me. Newborns scare the shit out of me because they feel so fragile, of course. She is awfully cute though. At least she's not one of those funny looking babies. Because it's all about outward appearances, obviously. 

I am trying to finish THE BOOK this week. It will not happen. I am a failure. 

I have no idea what to do with my time right now. I am tired, but I cannot sleep. 

My skin feels really dry, and I feel like just rubbing my shea butter stick all over my face, but since I use it as a lip balm, I'm sure that would be really gross. 

My brother counted my shoes today. He missed quite a few pairs though. I suppose the count is about forty or so. NOT ENOUGH. And he keeps trying to steal my Minolta. 

I should do laundry. 

Picture Posting Mood.

Prestige Liquid Liner in Pop Star
OPI Yoga-Ta Get This Blue!
China Glaze in Liquid Leather
A Grape Fit!

Done Out In Deco 
NYX Single Eye Shadow in Purple

Physician's Formula Baked Collection Wet/Dry Eyeshadow: Baked Oatmeal
L'oreal Telescopic Clean Definition mascara
NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Black Bean
Jane Be Pure Mineral Blush in Rose Satin
Revlon Colorstay Under Eye Concealer SPF 15 in Light/Medium
 Wet n Wild MegaSlicks Lip Gloss in Cherry something
 NYX Doll Eye Mascara: Long Lash

 MAC Slimshine Lipstick in Voile

 Jane maxlash² précise Lash Defining Mascara
Revlon Colorstay Mineral Finishing Powder in Brighten 

The photos don't do most of these justice, but I'm being lazy and not busing out the camera. Done. 

Birthdays and Being Realistic

Today is my lovey's birthday, and I am super excited because I feel like I have finally had the chance to give him a really cool birthday present. I feel like I always give him really lame gifts. :o/ I hope this one is spectacular and that he loves it and all that cool stuff. 

I have been playing around with my nail polishes, and I decided that for this week my nails will be coated with OPI's Clubbin' Til Sunrise and China Glaze's Orange Marmalade. They make a really nice combination. It's very pretty and orange and glittery and nice. I also think that it will go really well with Love Dove's and my birthday activity tomorrow! :oD There was a more appropriate color I thought about using, but I was really in the mood to play, so I'm playing. Of course, in the process I managed to get nail polish on my new quilt! I hate myself. 

I am really, really anxious about tomorrow because I am horrified that something will go horribly awry, and I just want everything to be happy and fun and perfect. I have knots in my tummy! No party here! and I can't sleep, though I need to sleep really well in order to really give Love Dove a spectacular birthday. I haven't been this anxious in almost a year. I am so unaccustomed to feeling this way all of a sudden. It used to be routine. I like that it's not, but I really don't like it! Ugh. 

I am trying to form a realistic wish list with items that I can actually afford to buy for myself on a regular basis. I make these kinds of lists to remember things I want to try and remember things I really like and want to continue purchasing/using. Believe it or not, I can forget anything. 

This list includes a few unique makeup brushes (which generally don't need to be repurchased), one mascara, two or three eyeshadows, a couple of eyeshadow palettes (that won't need to be repurchased for a really long time), and more MSFs from MAC. 

My NYX Doll Eye mascara should be on its way to my house, assuming the person with whom I arranged the swap isn't a nasty swaplifter. It's OK if she is, but I'd like to get something out of it. I checked her swap tokens and all that stuff, and she had positive reviews, so I assume she's good for it. I cannot wait to try it. The problem is that I have already found my Holy Grail mascara, so why do I need to try more? Probably because my Holy Grail mascara is amazing and expensive as shit. But it's good, very good. I love it. 

Now I think I can manage sleep or something close. 

Purple.

I am seriously lacking purple in my makeup collection and my nail polish collection. This has to change. I did a whole bunch of eyeshadow swatching the other night when I could not sleep, and I decided that there are not many colors I really need to add. I need a really good, bright orange, a good, bright yellow, and purple, preferably a darker purple. I have a light shimmery purple that I never use and don't particularly like, and that's it. THIS MUST CHANGE! 

I also want to try this new L'oréal Telescopic Explosion mascara. The wand is similar to that of Givenchy Phenomen'eyes, which I would never buy because it's overpriced crap, however, the want is very interesting. I don't think I've ever used a L'oréal mascara. I stick to Maybelline, Rimmel, and Too Faced! I think that's all I have. Oh, I do have that one CoverGirl mascara. This reminds me that I want blue mascara. I do not know why. I just want blue mascara, and I want a more reddish-brown brown mascara. I can only find ones that look black, and I don't want one that looks black; I want one that looks BROWN. I also want an auburn eyebrow pencil, so it will match my hair color better. 

Today, Pierre ate three roly polies. It was so sad to watch such a massacre of little isopods. I thought he just wanted to look at them and sniff them, but no! he wanted to nom them! Tsk tsk. I hope my cats do not eat them. They sometimes carry icky parasitoids, not that an icky parasitoid would hurt my dog, but still---gross. 

My sister is very interested in disgusting little bugs, like the roly poly. She keeps asking what they are. I told her they are related to lobsters and crabs and lice, as they are a type of woodlice. Eiw. I suppose I could go through the entire kingdom, phylum, subphylum, class, order, suborder, family, genus, species, subspecies (except they aren't a subspecies) thing with her, but WHY would I do that? 

I miss my gorilla studies. This is what makes me think sometimes that I should go into zoology or something similar. I liked being with them everyday. 

I just got an e-mail from MAC saying that they will have free shipping on ALL order placed between now and 6 June. This means that I can order the slimshine lipstick that is being discontinued by itself, free-shipping, and be happy. I am excited. Thank you, maccosmetics.com!

I am dousing my hands in keratin and vitamin E lotion to help my nails grow as quickly as possible. They were cut super short for those acrylics, which I forcibly removed because they were driving me crazy, and now my nails are super short, and I hate it! Maybe I should start eating lots and lots of gelatin, too! They need to grow out faster!!!

Now I must take my noon nap. Ugh. 

I need to make a list of all the makeup items I want but shouldn't buy.

So that's what I'm going to do here. This is a before bed listing activity that will be good for me.

So I'll start with MAC products and move my way down to ---whatever else. 

MAC

Lip products:

Dazzleglasses:

Love Alert

Funtabulous

Girl's Delight

Baby Sparks

Extra Amps

Money, Honey

Lipsticks:

Slimshine:

Voile

Gentle Summer

Lovey-Dove

Viva Glam:

Viva Glam V

Lipstick:

Honeylove

Lollipop Loving

Myth

Speed Dial

EYES!

Pigments:

Vanilla

Mutiny (limited edition! :o( ...)

Pink Opal

Golden Olive

Melon

Old Gold

Eyeshadow:

Sushi Flower

Clarity

Shimmermoss

Chrome Yellow

Bitter

Orange

Cranberry

Paint Pots:

Bare Study

Rubenesque

Artifact

Painterly

Shadestick:

Taupographic

Beige-ing

Cream Color Base:

Fabulush

Improper Copper

Luna

Hush

Blush:

Mineralize Duo:

Moonriver

Love Rock

Random:

Glitter:

Reflects Bronze

Reflects Purple Duo

Reflects Transparent Teal

Reflects Antique Gold

NYX:

Jumbo Pencil:

Orange

Yellow

Hot Pink

Cherry

Mascara:

Doll Eye

Loose Pearl Shadow:

Charcoal

Baby Pink

Purple

Fanta

Yellow Gold

Orange Zest Pearl

Ultimate Pearl Eyeshadow:

Bronze Pearl

Copper Pearl

Ocean Pearl

Sahara Pearl

Single Eye Shadow:

Yellow

Ocean

Platinum Pink

Cherry

Orange

Odyssey

Africa

Chrome Eye Shadow:

Canary (obviously I need this)

Nymph

Hard Core

Yellow

Princess

Oatmeal

Geisha

Trio Eye Shadow:

Aquamarine

Serengeti

Anti Diva

White Tropical Silver

Liners:

Candy Glitter Liner:

Hot Green

Lavender

Red

Tangerine

Silver

Hot Yellow

Jade

FACE:

Blushers:

Peach

Taupe

Dusty Rose

Natural

Pinky

Spice

Lips:

Round Lipstick:

Pandora

Ceto

Apollo

Galaxy

B52

Earth Angel

Iced Lavender

Iced Honey

Tea Rose

Sunflower

Tinted Lip Spa:

Vintage

Sake

Juicy

Copacabana

Spirit

Matador

Goddess of the Night Lip Gloss:

Lollipop

Sunshine

Chestnut

Dream

Juicy Red

True Star

Taupe

Sugar Pie

African Queen

Sheer Tube Lip Gloss:

Pink

Lip Balm:

Grape

Strawberry

Apple

Watermelon

Peach

Orange

Lip Liners:

Auto Pencil:

Natural

Coffee

Burgundy

Jumbo Lipstick Pencil:

Gold

Iced Coffee

Plush Red

Narcisse

Chaos

Pink Nude

Almond

Vixen

Random:

Pencil Sharpener (for the jumbo eye pencils that I love so much)

China Glaze:

Cherry Pie

Raspberry Festival

Strawberry Fields

Adore

Awaken

Cherish

Emotion

Recycle

Tree Hugger

Hybrid

Unplugged

BFF

OMG

2NITE

Wireless Holographic Topcoat

OPI:

Feelin' Hot-Hot-Hot

Bronzed to Perfection

Overexposed in South Beach

Teal the Cows Come Home

Over The Taupe

No Room For The Blues

In My Back Pocket

Nicole Alert

A Grape Fit!

Atomic Orange

ElePhantastic Pink

Need Sunglasses?

Ladies and Magenta-men

St. Petersburgundy

Kosmo Not Tonight Honey

Kreme de la Kremlin

Dating A Royal

Light My Sapphire

Blue My Mind

Significant Other Color

D.C. Cherry Blossom

Sahara Sapphire

I also really, really, really, really want this.

Now I am sufficiently sleepy to sleep without supplements. Yay! I left out a lot of makeup stuff---it's just that NYX and MAC are currently catching my eyes. 

BTW, I went shopping today (yesterday), and I bought two more t-shirts (the same one I already have in like three colors), one is bright, royal blue (which looks really good on me; I've decided), and the other is pink. I also got an nude camisole to go under my super see through purple shirt that I love and cannot wait to wear. Summer time yay! 

I also got a weird necklace. It has a giant, wooden peace sign on it. I don't know why I bought it. I am sure I can incorporate it into something. 

I hope I get the thing for which I specifically asked as my anniversary gift (WINK WINK), but I'll be OK if I don't. I have spectacular plans. 

I am also planning as many spectacular things as possible for my love dove's birthday. It's just so difficult. I am determined to make us both happy on his birthday. Because last birthday made me miserable. And the first birthday was the worst day in our entire relationship, and I say that having evaluated every horrible thing that's ever happened. It was the catalyst to my crazy. Sorry love dove. It's true. I was discussing this in therapy. 

I went to a party last night. I made sure to look extra cute, and by that I mean I overdressed. I am always overdressed. One boy was trying to impress me for some reason by quoting literature, which I wouldn't except at a super nerd school that focuses on computer science and such, but whatevs. I was wearing four inch heels, and I can honestly say that there were only two guys who were taller than me there, one being my brother. Some fat girl was there, and she kept giving me mean looks. Other than that, it was fine. I didn't drink a single drop of alcohol, and I drove home. I got lost like three times, and I couldn't get anyone on the phone to help me get to where I was supposed to be because I kept taking the wrong exits for some reason, even though I know that I knew that they were the wrong exits. It's the drugs. My brain just isn't what it used to be. I'm going to discuss that with my psychiatrist on Monday, and I'm going to ask him about this face thing, like if it's normal with the new medication I've started or if I need to go see my other doctor about it. I'm scared to go see my other doctor about it because it's so weird and random that I'm sure they'll want to take blood, and I hate having blood taken. It just upsets me. And makes me nauseous, which is unfortunate because I desperately want to give blood. I want to donate blood! Except I think my blood might actually be useless. And it's full of drugs. 

Good night, cruel world. 

Forsooth.

I swear I'm not listening to Fall Out Boy. 

So—my mother consistently says she believes my therapist is useless. I tried to tell her that my therapist does quite a lot more for me than the psychiatrist, since all the doctor does is dole out medication and potentially harmful side-effects. My therapist tries to help me think about my problems, take responsibility for the things of which I am able, and be honest with myself. And she's done a good job. I'm better at understanding that I have a certain level of say-so in how I feel today or tomorrow or how I felt yesterday, and I have a say-so in how I deal with it, even if I have to fight with my head a little. I also understand that I cannot hide behind anxiety, which is a really easy thing to do. It's incredibly easy to run away from things when you have mental illness on your side, or in your head. "I can't deal with that because it makes me anxious." The more I say that, the more anxious I get, and the fewer things I am able to do. I still have to acknowledge the anxiety, but I should not hide behind it. That's not a happy existence at all. Anyway--she helps me with that stuff. That's more important than handing me some Xanax and telling me to do with it whatever I want (which is basically what the doctor does, very strange, these psychiatrists). 

I have definitely seen an increase in headaches since I started the new medication, but I have also seen an increase in pollen and stress and allergies going nuts. That's another thing my therapist helps me sort. Is this psychosomatic? Is this a real side-effect? Am I paranoid? I appraise things now. It's much safer that way. 

Today my mother took me shopping with her, and then she didn't buy anything for herself even though I totally kept trying to drag her to things she'd want to buy. I was done shopping for myself within fifteen minutes and tried things on and sorted through them and only bought five things. My mother proceeded to shop for my sister for about two hours. And she bought herself a pair of socks. Then we came home, and she complained that she didn't get anything for herself. She does that a lot. I think she needs it. Anyway, I got two pairs of super cute shorts and three shirts. Two of the shirts are t-shirts like the one in my post below with my beautiful nail polish. I absolutely love that particular t-shirt, so I bought a white one and a periwinkle one. I was going to get a turquoise-y one, but I decided to just leave it at three of the same shirt. I can go crazy buying the same shirt in millions of colors because I'm weird like that. This particular shirt happens to fit me really well and stuff, though. So hmph. And it's really soft. It's not cheaply made. I love it. And it gave me more purple in my closet. And who doesn't need a white t-shirt? I love it. Anyway, the last shirt I got is a really pretty, royal blue. I have been trying to add a larger variety of colors to my wardrobe lately. All I seem to have is lots of gray, black, and yellow. The two pairs of shorts I got are gray though. One has stripes with cute, white buttons on it, and the other pair is like..idk. They're cute, and they looked cute on me. They're a size 1. I haven't worn a size 1 since I was 13. Forsooth. That was fun to type. 

I love Savage Garden. And I am not ashamed. My iTunes just blessed me with TWO Savage Garden songs in a row on shuffle. Thank you, iTunes. I wonder why no one discusses them anymore. They're totally pop awesomeness. Seriously. 

I am very upset with this Seche Vite topcoat. I had it on my nails for three days, and the shit chipped. Actually, it peeled. I have this problem when I wash my hair of strands of hair sliding beneath my nail polish and peeling it off. I suppose the polish was too thick. At least, that's what I'm telling myself because I spend a lot of time and money making my nails look pretty (and trust me, it's my least favorite thing to do in terms of maintenance). Only one nail chipped. I will fix it, and I will leave the color on my nails. I'm not interested in redoing all of them right now, not with all these headaches. 

I am also really upset that I cannot find the fucking dry shampoo that I want at my Sally's. Why does my Sally's not have it? WHY?! Hmph. I am going to have to find one and buy it because it seems stupid to order it online when I'm sure there is another store nearby, or close enough that it's worth the trip. 

I want bath stuff. I have this urge to take a bubble bath, but I want a very specific sort of bubble bath. Someone buy me bubbles! I generally hate baths, except salt baths. I love salt baths. I should take a salt bath. My skin would be so happy. 

Everyone should take salt baths. 

I have become the bum friend who says "I'll totally send the fork in two weeks..." and then doesn't send the fork. I MUST SEND THAT FORK. I seem to have lost it again. As soon as the semester is over  (one class period! and then a week of finals! eep!), I am cleaning this fucking room. I need summer projects, and this room is a fucking mess. Today I found an old bra that a cat had peed on. I have no idea when this happened, but I have officially banned those beasts from my bedroom. Not only do they make me sick, but apparently they've been doing some unauthorized micturition, and that is unacceptable. Unacceptable. 

So---everything is going to be cleaned, and I'm going to vacuum, and I am going to clean my carpet. I used to do those things weekly, but then I got --sicker and anxious-er and busier (shocking) and just lost my drive. My room used to be pristine. I miss those days. They shall soon return with a vengeance. And while I'm at it, I need to repaint one of my walls. I'm not sure if I still have the paint though. I'll have to ask my dad. Or maybe I can paint it a different color. Pink? Oooh turquoise! That would be pretty, considering that was the original color scheme. And that matches my bed set, if I ever decide to use it. I also need something else on my window. I hate blinds of any sort. I really need super thick drapes that keep out the hot and cold temperatures and the evil light, since I hate all of those things, and I can move them in the mornings (or whenever) when I do my makeup, since that's the only reason I need a window. 

One thing I have always really liked about this fucking house that I hate is that the yard is fantastic and never gets hot. It gets a bit swampy-feeling and mosquito-y, but mosquitoes don't like me, so that's not an issue. It's always really cool in my yard, so it's not too bad to go outside and sit in the summer time because there are so many trees keeping the air nice and cool and oxidized. <-- That's not really the right word to use, but it was fun. Oxygenated. Oxygenated is the correct word, but oxidized is so much more fun. I miss chemistry! And I still want the giant poster of the periodic table of elements to put on my wall. I have to rearrange the furniture in here, too. The bed needs to be on the other side of the room. The chi in here is not good. Yes, I just said CHI. I sound like a bi-polar right now. Awesome. 

I guess I'll go to sleep now. Again. I have been sleeping way too much lately. Way too much.

I just realized that tomorrow I have to run to the library and get that book I need to read for my psychology class because the report is due on Monday. Fuck my weekend. I have too much to do, but I shall focus, and I will get it done (because it's really not that much). I have to do a bit of research on a couple of writers, some historical background, and I have to e-mail my partner, type out the annotated bibliography, plan my speech --sort of, and read that book and write about it. DONE. Two days. Well, two and a half days for the English stuff. I will get it done. 

I really want Vanilla and Mutiny pigments from MAC. Mutiny is limited edition and currently being re-promoted. I need it. I need it. I need it. It's so gorgeous. 

OK.

I am feeling a lot better right now than I have in past weeks, and that seems like it should be fantastic. We will see how long it lasts. It seems that when I take my medicine, everything feels worse. And no one listens. No one helps. It feels as if no one cares. I would not know. I cannot read their minds. 

I do not have much to add in terms of makeup. I have a great desire to buy a LOT of things, but I am trying to tell myself that I just don't need these things. I just don't need these things. But I need them! It's causing a lot of inner-conflict, as if I don't have enough of that already. I've been eyeing those MAC grand duos for a while, and I really want just one. Just one of them. I just want ONE. And while I'm buying that one, I figure some lip gloss can't hurt. Or an MSF. Or any other thing I might buy. This is hard. It is really hard. 

I am planning on getting a tattoo, and I'm trying to tell myself that since it's permanent it's better than makeup, and I shouldn't buy any of the MAC things I want until AFTER I have my beautiful tattoo. I have planned the size, shape, color, placement, etc. perfectly. Now I just have to get it. And I am determined. I really want this tattoo. 

Early yesterday morning, I caved and read the portion of Midnight Sun that is on Stephanie Meyer's website. I had to. And I must say that it is infinitely better than the  Twilight books. She seems better at writing from an older vampire's point of view than that of a seventeen year old girl. Obviously it still carries all the teenage drama and theatrics, but Edward makes it all the more beautiful and kind, and it is nice to know that he feels like a total creep sneaking into her bedroom at night. I am sad that she has no finished this book now. Maybe what Stephanie Meyer's whole problem is that she just can't write well from a juvenile perspective. As Edward has lived quite a bit longer than Bella, he sees the world as a much older adult would, and that is how Midnight Sun is written. I believe what she has posted on her website is really wonderful, and I hope that she completes it and continues to write from Edward's perspective. It adds a lot to the entire saga. As anyone who reads my blog regularly knows, I think the Twilight books are mostly garbage, but what she did writing from Edward's perspective somehow changes it, makes it better. I simply read it out of curiosity, and it was only 200 pages or so, and I am shocked to say that I think it's really good. It's actually pretty well written, especially as compared to her other books. I am unsure as to why Meyer did not write it that way from the beginning. Not only does it give a certain uniqueness to the whole premise, but the story makes a lot more sense through his eyes, and he seems quite a bit less controlling and creepy. It is a shame that the author is too stupid to realize this and is instead being petulant that "oh no it leaked!! wah wah wah" and has postponed its release indefinitely. That is a mistake, a huge mistake on her part. I knew she wasn't very intelligent. 

I have little else to say. I will not bother. 

makeup stuff and why I haven't said anything about books in a really long time

Makeup: 

I bought this new foundation that feels really thick on my skin, but it gives amazing coverage, and it makes me look gorgeous without covering my freckles. It is Maybelline Instant Age Rewind cream foundation. It applies best with fingers, even though I really don't like to put it on with my fingers, and it works perfectly on my skin with my Stila convertible color in gerbera, which is my love love love of all blushes. This foundations does good things for my skin, but if I accidentally put too much (usually if I use a brush) it will actually make me look like I have wrinkles, like where my forehead creases and such. It is not cute, and it makes me furious. If I can apply it lightly (with my fingers or a damp sponge), it's perfect, and I love it. 

I also bought Boots No7 Colour Calming makeup base. It's green. I bought it because my face has been this undesirable red color lately, and it's horrendous, but this stuff is like green water. I didn't notice any difference except that I had to put more foundation over it to cover the green, which made me feel like I was wearing a clay mask all day. I might have used too much, so I'm not going to rule it out just yet. I'll try it tomorrow! 

I also finally bought the travel/mineral brush set from Eco-Tools, and I love them. I really like every single brush, except the kabuki brush. The bristles are too long to behave as a kabuki brush should, so it's more like a compact powder brush. Since I don't use or like kabuki brushes (I prefer flat top brushes), it works perfectly for me. I really like the little bamboo pouch. It fits the perfect amount of essentials for a night out (for touch ups). For school days, 12 hours, I need a larger bag. 

That might be all I've gotten in the way of new makeup lately. I don't know if I mentioned my Coastal Scents stuff or not, but I love the 26 eyeshadow/blush palette. I hate the peach bellini gel eyeliner. It's bright ass pink. It does not work as a base. It is NOT peach. I use it as on my bottom lash line occasionally to brighten up an otherwise neutral look. I just noticed there is a superficial break in the glass of my jar though, and it's too late for me to contact Coastal Scents about it, but I am furious. I did not pay seven dollars for a broken jar. I really love the turquoise gel liner. It is beautiful and sparkly and works perfectly as a base or as a shadow color on its own. It's gorgeous. 

I am planning to head to my CCO soon to see if I can find a couple of MAC pigments at a discounted price. I love saving money! And I only need one or two. And a brush, maybe. There are a couple of other things as well, but it's mostly for the pigments. I can't decide if I want to buy more of the lip conditioner in the tube, in the twist-up thing, or the jar. Maybe I'll just buy all three since I like it so much. 

Skincare:

I bought a tub of Jason Natural aloe vera cream moisturizer, and it's so amazing. I use it on my whole body (and my face at night --I alternate it with my firming cream), and it moisturizes so well, and a little bit goes a very long way. For a seven dollar tub of cream, it's working wonders for my skin, and it's going to last me quite a while. And the smell. The smell is pure deliciousness (if you're a nature nut like me). 

I'm considering a new skin care regimen from The Body Shop. I don't want any sulfates in my cleansers, and that's the only place I can find a cleanser I like that does what I want that does not contain sulfates. So. It's obviously a bit more expensive than what I use now, but in the long run, I think it's worth it. And I love The Body Shop's policies. I love their scents, their lotions, everything. I might buy some bath stuff as well, since that's also difficult to find without sulfates. 

Haircare:

Speaking of sulfates, I'm switching my shampoo. I have been using my Dr. Bronner's pure castile soap in lavendar, but I'm starting to be disturbed by the texture, so I am going to try Kiss My Face Whenever shampoo, or maybe the volumizing one. The point is I do not want sulfates in my shampoo. My conditioner is fine. I've only been washing my hair twice a week at most, since I'm considering growing it out. I'm trying to make sure it's as healthy as possible in the event that I don't have it all chopped off again soon, since I can't make up my mind. I am also trying to use as little heat as possible, which is working well since my hair is now at a length where it can stand on its own without much heat styling. And it air dries pretty quickly, which is a good sign. 

Why I Haven't Been Discussing Any Books:

I haven't been reading anything. I read "Hero and Leander" by Christopher Marlowe for school, and it's absolutely beautiful and should be read by all, but other than that I have either been on the internet doing research or trying to sleep or just fucking around. My mind cannot concentrate on a book right now. 

My friend sent me a promotional copy of his book, and I am expected to read it and get back to him with a review. I received the book a few weeks ago. I have not read a single page. I just cannot focus. I do not know how I managed to focus on all four Twilight books at all. I suppose since the writing is rather juvenile, it was easier, and it requires much less attention. 

I have also been working on all these movies S sent me. He sent me a ton of movies, and I feel so pressured into watching all of them and letting him know how I feel about them. Blarg. I shall get it all done. I am super Jew! 

Miscellaneous:

I haven't had any desire to buy shoes in a while. Good thing? Bad thing? I don't know. 

MAC Hello Kitty stuff.

Products are:

Lipstick in Fresh Brew

Nail polish in On The Prowl

tinted lip conditioner in Popster

Beauty Powder in Tahitian Sand

and beauty powder blush in Tippy

I finally got the lighting in my room corrected (now it's blue instead of yellow, which is what a CFL should look like). This means taking photos that look normal and giving you all (my faithful readers, all 0 of you) true-color photos of my Hello Kitty stuff. I am really sad that I didn't get any of the makeup bags or totes, but I am HOPING that I will be able to buy a few more lipsticks and a glitter eyeliner or some lipgloss or something ELSE before it is all gone because I just don't feel like I have enough stuff...right. 

yay. 

Another English teacher gave me a mega compliment today after handing me a test with a score of a 52% on it. It felt good and bad, for obvious reasons. The epic fail is due to my apparent inability to follow directions, something I have never done well.