My Closet.

My closet is driving me nuts. It is fucking disorganized to the point of --being really obnoxious. I've got all my winter clothes peeping out, screaming "we're hot and itchy! wear us!" but no no I will not wear you! I must get storage bins to put them in, but WHERE to put the bins? Under the bed is taken. I have so much Stuff that even organizational bins won't help me! And none of it is worth selling on ebay.  Well, perhaps a couple of my coats could go, but I love them! why would I get rid of them? I already moved formal gowns to my sister's closet since she doesn't put her clothes in it.  My closet needs to be reorganized with storage bins for sweaters and coats. And perhaps the pea coat ought to go. I'm sure someone would want it. I certainly don't. And there are boxes in there that could go in the attic, though I will not part with my Chinese tea set. I've already had one thing from my grandmother stolen from me. I shall not risk another. Besides, I love that tea set. It's probably full of lead, but it is beautiful! Oh well. I'll have to go through everything and toss things and move things and so on and so forth. Summer projects! 

I've already moved one giant rubbermaid bin out of my room and into one of the basement rooms, yet I could use like four more. Ugh. 

So I have a deep yearning for organizational tools. And people to organize for me. And new window dressings, thermal ones for temperature and light control. And more lamps. And stuff. But really, organization is key.

I thought of this because I was doing laundry, and I had to go to the closet. Ugh.

I just need to soak in the fact that I don't have to do anything for THREE MONTHS.

Three months gives me lots of time to ponder my life. I can figure out what's wrong with me. I can play with my meds more. I can get better. I can relax. I can go to the hospital if I want without stressing about missing something important! because sometimes I miss that place so much. I can go to the park and sleep on a bench. (except not) I can go to the library. I can sleep. (I hope) I can shop. (I could do that anyway) 

Which reminds me: I bought new nail polish! and a new eyeshadow. I don't know why I bought the eye shadow because it's green, and I have at least two green eyeshadows in that color already. Whatevs. I have it, and I have a plan for it. If only I had friends and stuff who went out with me, I could use these makeup plans. My life sucks. I am not who I was born to be.

The nail polish is a China Glaze cream color called Shower Together. It's from the Ecollection, which I love. I can't find all the colors at any stores around me, but I collect them as I find them. So I have two colors from it thus far. I have four from the summer collection. I don't like the summer collection all that much. I don't like glittery nail polish all that much. So. Shower Together is a gorgeous blue green, like a pretty ocean. (I have never seen a pretty ocean.) I painted my nails with Wild Mink (bright pink--gorgeous) last night when my hands finally stopped shaking, and they look OK. I also shortened all of them because I was just tired of them being super long. (stupid healthy nails) So my nails look good today. They'll probably look good for a week or so. It doesn't matter though because I'm not going anywhere. 

I was supposed to hang out with Robert today. I slept a lot today, and this morning I typed out the annotated bibliography and mailed it to my teacher, and I don't know. I am feeling particularly unwell. Just not good at all. 

I have a pretty good idea of what I shall discuss in my final essay for English, but I am not sure what I will do about the extra credit essay on Milton's Paradise Lost. It's only the first two books, but that is almost the problem for me. I don't know how to write about a part of something, not the whole. I don't know. I obviously don't have to do it because it's extra credit, but I have to do it because I got a 52 on the first test. And I have to do it well. 

Tomorrow I start studying for my history final. I am going to study so hardcore. I absolutely cannot fail. It is not a choice. 

I do not have to study very hard for my psychology final because it's easy, and it's stuff I already know, but we have to take two tests. Also, I never did the book report, and my teacher would not let me turn it in late, so I have a missing grade. I need to do well on the final to get like..a C probably. This semester is going to destroy my GPA, even if I don't fail anything. Ugh. 

I also must add that I am rather pleased to have found cute shorts that look cute on me. I happen to buy and own a lot of shirts that only look cute with shorts. So I need more than like one pair. I do have my safari shorts, of course, but I never go on safaris! Hmph.