Not now, I guess.
Though having some Got2B Cosmic Shimmering Shine serum would be SUHWEET. I just can't find it anywhere. It makes me really sad.
Anyway, I realized I didn't make an epic list of hair products that I want but don't need and shouldn't buy. It mostly involves new straighteners, curlers, curling irons, wavers, and various serums and pomades and glues, etc. I could probably go more crazy with hair stuff than anything. I love hair stuff, and my hair is like...ugh.
I hate letting my hair grow. It gets so annoying when it's past my shoulders. I like having short, bouncy hair, but then I can't really curl it. :o/ What to do? Right now the length is really annoying, and it's still pretty short. My hair just grows so fast! Ah!
In an effort to be slightly more healthy and inject some protein into my diet, I have been eating lots of nuts. I love nuts. I am eating cashews and almonds and pecans. I do not like Brazil nuts all that much, and the filberts could also be left out of my mixed nuts. Hmph!
Since I don't like to take valerian root two days in a row (not to mention experience the disgusting flavor consecutively), I can't sleep right now. I took 900 mg again last night, and I slept all day. I got up once at like noon because I hear Pierre squealing because Domino had gotten into the house, and he wanted to play with him. Then I woke up again to let Horus out and let Pierre take a nap with me. Then I woke up when Pierre woke up and put him out. So now I'm up. For keeps. I can't decide if I should read a smart book (i.e. Not Twilight) or watch a smart movie (i.e. not Twilight) or just take the damn pills. Or perhaps I could do something productive and study for my finals or start writing my final paper. I won't, but I should.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with my psychiatrist, and I will ask him about this face thing. If he says it's abnormal, then I shall scurry to my other doctor.
Old episodes of House are on! Must watch.
---later.
About my lists! I updated all of my Amazon wish lists, and by that I mean I pared them down to the bare essentials: on them are things I actually want to own. I feel like I overwhelm people with my epic wanting. Again, I hate this wanting. Wanting is the bane of my existence, my gadfly of sorts. (That was a pretentious allusion, fyi.) <-- That's for D's benefit. And Robert's if he reads this, since we talked about how I think it's funny when people find me pretentious, and how I sometimes like to perpetuate that by saying things that I know are pretentious and obnoxious and hilarious. Except I know that Robert would get the allusion. D doesn't read that kind of stuff. Ha! INFERIOR, MUCH? j/k
So my parents found out my IQ. I thought they knew since like...they're supposed to tell your parents when they give you crazy tests and find out that you're kind of a little bit on the above average end of things, and somehow my parents didn't know. So I told them. And my mom didn't really know what the numbers meant. My dad does though. So my mom is like "ohmyg0d my kid really is smart!" and my dad's all like "see? you're wasting your brain." and people wonder why I dumb it down. Shit like that. THEN my mom was telling my grandmother, and I was like "omg I don't even tell my friends this shit. It's supposed to be a huge secret, and you're sharing it with people who gossip!" My life is ruined. This will be the death of me. I'm going to have to drop out of community college (har har) and work at a really bad place for the rest of my life to prove them wrong. On that note, if one more person gives me shit about where I receive my education, I might punch them in the face. Seriously. It doesn't diminish how capable I am. Or anything. And you can go fuck yourself. (and you know who you are) Life is ruined. I mean---my grandmother never expected me to do anything anyway, and even when I tell her what my major is and what I plan to do with my life, she imagines it as being this incredibly easy thing (because DNA is simple--no big deal and biology is a really easy degree to get, like I don't even have to go to class to finish that shit---anyone could do it). Yeah. My life requires no effort or intelligence; she believes. And my brother is wasting his life.
How can you waste your life if you're doing something that makes you happy? I happen to feel happy when thinking about DNA and stuff. I happen to feel happy reading biology textbooks. I happen to feel happy when I think of a cool experiment. I happen to feel very happy when my biology professors compliment me on how scientific my approach is to everything. Or when anyone tells me how very analytical I am of everything because it can only help me in my work. Fucking people. And I liked my secret! It's so not anyone's business. Makes.me.mad. and embarrassed. and I want to quit life. Seriously. This makes me want to go to Hawaii so bad and never come home. because I don't want to see anyone in my family. They love to talk. Gossip is not my thing.
I feel like I might need to make a list of something now. People I respect in makeup!?!!! Pablo Manzoni. A fucking genius if ever one existed. He's old now. His work was once quite beautiful though. Oh, those feathers. Oh....the genius. I can't find any of the work he did that got Elizabeth Arden's attention way back when on the interwebs, but it was gorgeous. Genius.
People use feathers and such now and think they are SO creative. No, you're not.
It just makes me want to glue feathers to my face! halloweeeeeen. yay.
I am way too hyper for this time of night. (1:26 A.M.) I really don't want to take the valerian root. I want to buy some melatonin and anything else that might help with my sleep, so I can like switch it out. But I hear that melatonin isn't allowed to be sold in lots of other countries, like Germany, which makes me think it might not be too smart to take it. I mena--it's a hormone, natural and all, but it does have some important roles in the body, and I don't like to fuck with my hormones too much. So---maybe not a good idea.
I guess I'll find something to do. Draw. Paint. Write. Read. Watch YT videos. Hate people.
