Bits and Bobs, This and That, Chattery Chat!

Again, I've neglected my poor blogger! I don't really have much to report, though, so that may be why. I have been keeping logs of new products I've tried to review them, even though I'm not sure many people pay attention to those.

I'm reading a book about a concept called limerence.

I am reading said book because of my boyfriend. New boyfriend! Very exciting.

Here is a photo of me kicking his ass playing chess:

I was using the white pieces, obviously.

Wet'n'Wild

Any time I enter a drugstore, I am drawn to the Wet'n'Wild section of the cosmetics. I am interested in almost every product released from this company, and I know that I love the MegaShine lip glosses as well as the gel eyeliner. I bought another lip gloss and the tinted moisturizer today. I just had to do it! I'm very interested in trying some of their eyeshadows, but I haven't presently got a place to put any new makeups! I need to buy more storage drawers.

My gall bladder is on the fritz. That really sucks, obviously. It hurts so bad. I have attacks in the middle of the night. I don't want to have to go to the hospital, but that will likely happen in the near future. I am trying to get to the doctor first, though. I cannot eat any fried foods before going to bed. I really should not eat any at all, but fries and such are very tempting, particularly when paired with ranch dressing. Last night I had some Kartoffelpfannkuchen(?) (LATKES) which really set it off. I woke up around four and thought I was dying.

I have a ton of stuff to do tomorrow. I have to go to school to see an advisor. I have lunch with the boyfriend. Hang out time with the bff? maybe.

I want a strawberry mojito. I will see what I can do about this at lunch with the boyfriend. Seeing him will be nice.

I want to be asleep right now.

Seriously. 

My mind cannot focus long enough for me to finish my brilliant thoughts. I started to write something about my philosophies on certain things, and I lost my train of thought within three sentences. This problem is not new, though. The only time I am able to write a lengthy piece on anything is when it is for school, and it has a due date, and I am given some kind of direction. 

I am very seriously considering making a documentary. I really want to, but I don't currently have the proper equipment. Luckily, I am capable of getting my hands on the proper equipment if need be. I must put together a plan, and I will see how I feel about it. I feel very bouncy and creative lately. 

I plan to do some shopping today, as usual. I hope my medication will help with this. I don't want to feel like I need this, letting it control my emotions. I don't like it. Really. 

I am supposed to see my cousin and the baby on Sunday (or Monday), but I seem to have caught the nasty cold my parents have, and there is no way in hell I'm going to give this shit to a newborn. Besides, I'll probably be in hospital by then. I am terrified of this cold. I am terrified of getting really sick. I am just terrified. 

So my boyfriend had a pretty good opportunity to visit me at a decent hour, like when I'm not supposed to be sleeping, and he opted not to do so. I cannot accurately describe the way this makes me feel, but really---I tire of these things very quickly. He does not seem to understand the way I operate, and though my medications have certainly mellowed the sharper edges of my personality, I am still capable of being just as aloof as ever and forgetting and letting go and not being concerned about it. I don't believe he understands how I've handled all previous relationships, romantic or otherwise. I suppose he has been conditioned to believe I am needy enough to sit around waiting. I'm not. 

^^ That doesn't mean anything significant. 

I will return to my sleep attempts now.

My Wish List Just Got Bigger

I believe I mentioned wanting a really nice burgundy colored mascara. Well, I fucking found it. It's a more high-end brand of mascara though, so I'll have to wait until I have expendable funds to purchase it. I am still looking for something like it on the cheaps, but I have been unsuccessful thus far. Thank you, Urban Decay for making the thing which I desire most, and I would also like to thank you for making it not ridiculously overpriced. It's a price I'd pay for a good mascara in the color I seek desperately. 

I wonder how to put a Twitter widget on my blog. I use Twitter for no reason at all since only 25 strangers follow me (well, a few of those people are friends, me guess). I use it like a PenSieve. I can clear my head by typing in a thought in 140 characters or fewer. 

Operation Boyfriend Birthday Bash is already turning into a disaster. I informed him that I may be coming down with a heavy case of the H1N1 virus, and he may have to find a substitute for my birthday gift (as it is planned for two). He said "oh that's OK, I'll just veg out." No, you will not just veg out. I spent a good chunk of change on this shit, and it is time sensitive, and it damn well has to be done at the fucking time I fucking planned it to be. The fact that he said that he'd just "veg out" though leads me to believe that he'd rather do that than do what I have planned for (I hope) us to do which leads me to believe that I wasted a pretty penny on something he won't appreciate nearly as much as he would have appreciated doing the same fucking thing he did last year which is not hang out with his fucking girlfriend and instead hang out with his stupid fucking friends who don't give a shit about him or his fucking birthday. HMPH! After all I am not a fucking douche like everyone else, and I do not go out in public to spread my nasty fucking sicknesses everywhere. This is me being angry about something fucking stupid. Premeditated anger if you will. Self fulfilling prophesying is the name of the game. 

Dear G-d, I love Twitter. 

And it continues...

Today I gave in to two of my most severe problems: obsession and compulsivity. 

I went shopping. I did not buy anything though because I found nothing of interest, except this one thing, but I figured it would not fit, and I did not want to try it on, so I left it. I walked out of the store, to my car and cried. Yes, cried. That was the compulsion.

I thought I had an English test today. I didn't. We were watching a movie. My teacher pushed the test back a week, which I would have known had I been to class in the past week and a half. I am having problems. 

The obsessing is something I am not going to discuss openly, but it's something that has caused me most emotional unrest for quite some time, and I HATE IT. The source of the emotional unrest is a person, a bad person to be sure, and this person should be eradicated from existence, or at least my peripheral existence. This probably won't happen. I might have to take certain matters into my own hands, and I know how badly that always goes. 

All the bad is coming back with this new medications, and I don't like it. Doctor on Thursday. He's going to get an earful. I am very displeased. And tired ALL the time. 

So I bought this new nail polish last week from OPI called Gargantuan Green Grape, and I was so excited when it arrived today, so I just HAD to try it out like ten minutes ago. It sucks. It is very similar to another, better, cheaper color that I already have (I was led to believe it was lighter but..not really), and it required THREE COATS. It still doesn't really look particularly decent on my nails. I'm pretty peeved to say the least. 

Also on my list of excruciatingly frustrating things is my boyfriend. What else? He lacks direction and drive and motivation and purpose (like I do), and he has no goals. I don't know how you live a life without a goal. What are you doing? Why do you do anything? And he won't talk about anything, anymore. And he has so many convenient excuses. It's fucking ridiculous. I hope that this is the one blog entry that he actually bothers to read, as he's told me a few times that he has no idea where this blog is EVEN THOUGH it is conveniently linked on my Facebook profile for all to read. Awesome. He's really fine. I'm just really pissed off right now. Three paragraphs ago involves him. 

Happy things to end the post: A lovely friend sent me a pound of gummi Smurfs, and some random, mystery gummi things. I am afraid to eat them, but I am sure I will do that soon. 

I don't have enough blue in my life.