Products I Regret Purchasing

The products are: Sexy Hair Straight Sexy Hair Aerated Anti-Frizz and Shine Spray, MAC Blush Ombre Azalea Blossom, NYC Chroma Face Glow Moonstone, MAC Beauty Powder Tahitian Sand, Maybelline Baby Lips Fruit Punch, Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Dark Circle Eraser, Physician's Formula Organic Wear Jumbo Lash Mascara, Wet'n'Wild Lipstick 528A, NYX Concealer in A Jar, Revlon ColorStay Ultimate Liquid Lipstick Miracle Mauve, Essie To Buy or Not To Buy, and China Glaze Smoke and Ashes.

Straight Sexy Hair: I find this product helps with frizz, but it does so by making my hair feel weighed down and look greasy. It also has an awful and very strong scent. 1 out of 5. No recommendation here.

MAC blush: The ombre effect is nice to look at, but this one is odd. It's got a warm, yellow-y pink that fades into a cool, lilac. Once applied the color is actually very pretty with or without the ombre, but the texture is very hard and not as blendable as I'd prefer. 1 out of 5. No recs.

NYC Moonstone: I actually swapped for this product, but I have the same issues with it as I do with the MAC blush. It's very hard, difficult to pick up product, and it barely shows up on my skin. 1 out of 5. No recs.

MAC Beauty Powder: Also hard and difficult to work with. Provides absolutely no color, which makes it pretty much useless as it doesn't even add a soft-lit glow to the face or anything.

Maybelline Baby Lips: While this is moisturizing, I find the flavor nauseating, and the color doesn't work on my skin. It is a pretty color, though, and I know that other people could enjoy it. It's just not for me. 3 out of 5. Would recommend for cooler skintones and people who desire bright pinks that are moisturizing.

Maybelline Concealer: This product helps with dark circles, but the packaging is awful. When I first bought it, I really liked the sponge, and I still do, but at some point the top just exploded off of it which resulted in a lot of wasted product as when I popped it back in, a ton of product squirted out. I like the texture, but I dislike the color range. I know a lot of people would be able to find satisfaction in this product, packaging issues aside, so I give it a 3 out of 5.

Physician's Formula Mascara: This is a very dry mascara. I heard a lot of great reviews about this, so I decided to try it, and I absolutely hate it. It does make my lashes look nice, but it's extremely dry and clumps easily. Despite the dry formula, it also smudges all over my face without me even touching my eyes. The packaging is disgusting and obnoxious, too. 2 out of 5, because it does make my lashes look great, and I know a lot of people really like this.

Wet 'n' Wild Lipstick: This is just a terrible color for me, and it's extremely frosty. I'm not into frosty. 3 out of 5.

NYX Concealer: Hard to find a good color match, very drying, doesn't last well on the skin no matter what primer I use, doesn't cover well. 2 out of 5.

Revlon ColorStay Liquid Lipstick: This never sets on the lips. It always feel wet and sticky, and it's supposed to be a long-wearing product, but it's not. It stays sticky all day which is uncomfortable, and it will rub off onto everything. 1 out of 5.

Essie To Buy or Not To Buy: I regret this one because it's very similar to Revlon's Lilac Pastelle, and it has these beautiful shimmer particles that do not show up on the nail at all. I love Lilac Pastelle, and I was hoping that this would be a bit different with the glitter, but it looks exactly the same. Formula is fine, though, and I'll still use it. I would not repurchase. 3 out of 5.

China Glaze: Smoke and Ashes: This polish looks amazing in the bottle with all the multi-colored, multi-dimensional glitter, but the glitter hardly shows up on the nail. It just looks like a black polish. I am keeping this one as a memento of The Hunger Games, or perhaps better described as a collector's item. I would not repurchase this product. 3 out of 5.

Some thing I've bought recently/bored at night

China Glaze "Breakin'": not new, but I don't have any photos of it so far. I really like it.

I can't tell which picture is which now, so bear with me.

Swatches are as follows: NYX Lipliner Pencil in 840 "Rose", Rimmel Lasting Finish Lipstick in 900 "Pink Blush", Rimmel Lasting Finish Lipstick in 082 "Heavenly", and Rimmel Moisture Renew Lipstick in 940 "Berry Queen".

The others: Too Faced Eye Shadow in "Label Whore", NYX Runway Collection e/s palette in "Jazz Night", CeraVe Hydrating Cleanser, Cetaphil Antibacterial Gentle Cleansing Bar for Dry, Sensitive Skin, L'Oréal Paris Studio Secrets Professional Magic Perfecting Base, the lipliner, the lipsticks.

So far I absolutely LOVE Label Whore. It's gorgeous. It's very similar to MAC's "Club" eye shadow, but I like Too Faced better. I prefer the Rimmel Moisture Renew lipsticks to the Lasting Finish, though they are not especially moisturizing. I find both formulas to be drying. I was looking for the "Pink Chic" Moisture Renew l/s, but the only two left were damaged, so I found a similar color in the Lasting Finish line ("Pink Blush"), and I really like it. The L'Oréal primer is pretty good albeit extremely thick. It works, but I would not repurchase as it's only half an ounce for 14 USD or so, and the container is insanely small and impractical. I love "Heavenly" lipstick. Well, I love all of the lipsticks I bought. I haven't used the NYX palette at all yet, but I've swatched all the colors, and they're all gorgeous. They seem to be nicer than the single NYX eyeshadows, so that's a plus. The CeraVe cleanser is amazing, and I love it. A lot of people on MUA said that it clogged their pores, but I have not experienced that problem at all. The Cetaphil bar is really nice and cleans my face, and what else can I say about a bar of soap? It lacks sulfates, which is good for my dry skin. I love NYX lipliners, so that's all I need to say about that, except maybe the color is really pretty? It is. I am really into pink lipsticks at the moment, and I lack lighter pinks. I only have things like "Show Orchid" and stuff. I guess that's all I can say on that subject.

In other news, my friend did something stupid, and someone else is blaming me for it. It's not my fault at all. I can't really talk about it, and to be honest, I know said friend is in a good place, so I don't need to worry about it.

My school fucked me over yet again, so I'm finding a new one. It's going to be pretty difficult with my GPA being such crap, but I can find Something.

I haven't really been reading any books lately, too preoccupied with other things. I did, however, read Hiroshima by John Hersey for school, and I wrote a review on it for that class, but I won't post it here as it wasn't very good anyway. The only thing I want to say is that the book is Really good if you want to understand what happens when people experience total destruction. My teacher made it seem like it would be a book that would make all of us cringe and cry and have all other sorts of weird reactions, but I guess he has a weak heart. I only cringed when a man described trying to pull a woman up by her hands and having the skin of her hands "peel off like gloves" as that was pretty graphic and disgusting. Yes, it's sad, but I've read much worse, shockingly enough. My teacher apparently does not read the same types of non-fiction I do.

I hate the weather here.

NYX Round Lipstick "Fig"

My eye makeup today.

NYX Round Lipstick in "Watermelon"

Gorgeous color! <3>

I just catalogued all my mascara with photographs.

NYX Round Lipstick in "Iced Lavender"

My lips are pretty pigmented, very pink, and this is a few swipes of Iced Lavender. It's dark but not too dark, good for fall and winter. I hope this is helpful to some random person passing through.

LIST MANIA

I'm not going to share my list, but I made a huge list of beauty products to try.

I was at a stupid Wal-Mart last week, and I noticed that L'Oreal Telescopic Explosion has finally been released in the U.S. (or maybe just my area, but I'm pretty sure it's U.S.). I have doubts about it, but I MUST OWN IT just the same. I have to try it.

On that note, my favorite mascara has changed. It is officially NYX Doll Eye Mascara in Long Lash. It makes my lashes look insanely long and gorgeous and flirty! I wore it yesterday to visit a friend, and friend did indeed make a comment on my makeup. I'm sure friend meant the mascara, since I wasn't wearing much else.

I've also become fascinated by a few mascaras that have recently been released. I must purchase and test all of them.

You know how I like responses.

I bought two of those new L'Oreal HiP Color Chrome pencils today. I swatched them on my hand. The darker one has finally started to fade after 10+ hours. They don't smudge. The consistency and wear is very similar to Urban Decay's 24/7 liners, and that's exciting. The only problem is the limited color selection. Since these seem to be smudge-proof (I gave them the same test I gave the UD liners---vigorous scrubbing), I kind of want to buy them in all possible colors. The blue one seems to have disappeared, and that's the one I really wanted in the first place. I settled for gold and purple. I might buy black just because it won't smudge, and it's a pencil! I like pencils. I also bought two NYX single shadows because they were BOGO, and I finally found Lanikai. I just grabbed a random one for the free one since I was kind of in a hurry, and it was Taupe, which is really, really pretty. It is the color I never knew I desperately wanted. It is very similar to MAC's Soft Brown but with a little shimmer. Lanikai is, of course, the beautiful blue I wanted. One day I'll post photos and swatches.

My Zoya order has not been processed; it seems. The last time I ordered something from them, it arrived in two days. And then I was receiving two free nail polishes! I want my order to be processed more quickly! It makes me nervous when I check my bank account, and the money still has not been taken. Not to mention, I really want my nail polishes! AND if I typed my credit card # wrong or something, then I won't get my free polish (or the significantly reduced shipping, whatevs). I'm a Jew. I don't like to pay full price for anything. Damn it.

I have discovered a nail polish that I *must* own, and I am going hunting tomorrow. I believe it is a Sally's Beauty Supply exclusive, which is a problem. There are only two that I would drive to. This nail polish looks particularly spectacular with a matte topcoat over it. I need that, too, but that isn't limited edition, store exclusive, super hard to find and incredibly attractive to ME. I will have this polish. It is so Halloween-y. I mean---I could just buy the Halloween set and get the black I already have (and dislike) with the top coat that makes it look like the nail polish I want, but that's twenty dollars for three things I don't need and one thing I do. I can find the nail polish or swap for it. Or I'll buy the Halloween set. Either way--this is going to be in my possession, and eventually I will pair it with a matte top coat, and it will be glorious.

In other news, I have been reduced to expressing my emotional distress in sports terms. I have absolutely nothing more to say.

Photos of Things I Have Acquired Recently

NYX lip liner in Prune, Jumbo Eye Pencils in Lavender and Yellow, Lipstick in Medussa, Eyeliner pencils in Sapphire, Silver, and White, eye shadows in Atlantic and Luxor, Physician's Formula Baked Bronzer in Baked Tan.
Swatches.

OPI Pinks: Princesses Rule, I'm Indi-a Mood for Love, You're A Pisa Work, Finger Paints Natural Talent, Orly Glitz and Charged Up and Spritz Dry, OPI Here Today...Aragon Tomorrow and Pamplona Purple.

Feeling vulnerable and sad and in need of a hug.

My moods are not stable enough considering the amount of medication I take. Perhaps I have been misdiagnosed. Perhaps this is what being normal is like. I would never know.

My nerves feel exposed, and I have needed to take 3+ mg of Xanax every single day, which is for my prescribed dosage, an overdose. I have not been very calm, and I have found that a few people have found it quite humorous to goad me, to upset me, to make me more anxious. I find this unfriendly, offensive, hurtful, inconsiderate, and in extremely poor taste. I do not respect people who find it amusing to push me to a point at which I feel overwhelmed with nerves, as if they are all on icy-fire, and extremely panicky. I suppose that people who do not have panic disorder do not understand that the slightest upset can (not always) cause a panic attack, so I can forgive those whom I know do not understand. There are others to whom I have spoken in confidence about how my brain seems to function, and some of them (not going to name names) still find it humorous to upset me. They go out of their way to do it. They find it humorous. And it is not funny to cause someone physical and emotional pain. I am unsure what kind of person does that, what makes him or her behave that way, but I will only take so much of it. We all have breaking points. Mine is rather far off. I will take a lot of crap from people because I truly believe the Buddha was right, and there is no blame to be placed upon these individuals. However, I am not the Buddha or any bodhisattva, and I will eventually snap, call you out on your bullshit, and I cease to care how it might make you feel, as you have exhibited a lack of care for how I feel for months, maybe years. People take advantage of my honesty, my openness about mental illness and how it affects me, my inability and unwillingness to feel ashamed, and I find that deplorable. That is not how a friend should ever behave, and trust me; I know who is my friend and who is not, and who never was. I have never been a fool in that arena, and I have always been a very skilled actress (ask my theatre teachers). 

In other news, I have been able to re-secure my classes for next semester, and I will be paying for them bright and early tomorrow morning. The bad news is that I may not be able to buy my medication that I need to, like, live, literally. It will be handled. My parents are incompetent morons who need to take some valium (and stop being so fucking selfish), but I will ensure that it is handled. I'm not interested in dying this week, and I'm especially not interested in confusing the chemicals in my brain either. My parents make me want to kill myself. It is the most poisonous environment I can imagine. I would rather live my entire life in a psychiatric hospital than be in the company of those people. I discussed it in therapy, and all my therapist could say was "why are you still there?" I cannot function without their idiocy. 

I have a social outing planned this week which requires me taking a long-ish drive to funtabulous place to do funtabulous things. I am trying to think of the best route to take. Having driven to this place multiple times over an entire summer for a fantastic job that I miss, I know several routes. I must choose the one with which I feel most comfortable on that day. Social outings are fun. 

Thursday should also be full of excitement, and if it is not, I swear I will cry. Over the weekend I experienced disappointment after disappointment after disappointment, and if I must have another one, I know I will not handle it well, especially with my nerves in their current state. I am supposed to see D whom I have not seen in a week. Thursday will be a week and four days, assuming things go according to plan. When my nerves are in this condition, I truly need him. He is unavailable. He is always unavailable. I may as well not have a boyfriend at this point. I am OK with things the way they are, except when I feel this way I find it rather inconvenient. 

I bought socks yesterday. Since it is summer and all, Target has all of their amazing thigh-high sweater socks on clearance for under 5USD, which pleases me greatly. I love thigh-high sweater socks, so I bought two pairs. I passed the mascara I desperately want to try because I already have one mascara that I have yet to use, and I hate to put my mascara in a position to be wasted. I was going to go to Ulta to purchase my favorite Jane mascara in abundance because I cannot find it anywhere else, but I decided I didn't want to buy it as there are other mascaras in the world.

I then wandered around the store swatching various eyeliner pencils. The Urban Decay 24/7 liners are absolutely fantastic. They come in gorgeous colors, go on very smoothly (no tugging), and they do not smudge once placed. I rubbed over each of them with my finger, and not one of them budged. Even when I got home to remove them from my hand, they took a little effort to remove but not enough that it would be painful on the eye. I also tried a couple of face primers that I have been eyeing. Both were phenomenal, and both are 30USD each. It may be worth it to have a fantastic primer. I am unsure as of right now. I played with the UD liquid liners as well: they too do not smudge. I am very, very impressed with them. The Stila kajal pencils go on smoothly, but they smudge even after a long setting period. I tried some Too Faced liquid metal liners, and they were crap. I found a gorgeous blush: peach by Too Faced. 

I also received my MUA package today. I received NYX black lip gloss and NYX Mermaid Green eye shadow. The eyeshadow is the same color as Warm Chill, except more pigmented. Woe. 

I am done.

No, birthday, no.

I couldn't sleep again, but I have things to do today, so I'm going to make some of my delicious cinnamon chocolate coffee and then take a shower. Then I'll read. 

All night I have been feeling really depressed about my birthday. It's in a few weeks, and I don't want it to happen. It's the same as last year. I hope that I will at least receive happy presents this year, like maybe someone will actually look at my wish list and buy something from it instead of either promising me something they won't buy or just giving me a last minute "oh shit I forgot" gift. Or nothing at all. I am so down on my birthday. 

At the moment, I am loving all things purple. In particular, though, I absolutely love NYX purple eye shadow. It is so gorgeous. It's a deep violet with a blue duo-chrome, and it is SO pretty. It's very soft and pigmented. I've found that NYX eye shadows are very hit or miss with the pigmentation. Most of the shimmery ones are chalky and not so good. The matte and satin ones are fantastic. I also love the Jumbo Eye Shadow Pencils--particularly black bean. gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. Yay NYX. 

I wish I had slept. :o/

Fail. Fail. Fail. All fails away!

So there is this SWEET deal at maccosemetics.com right now, and today's the last day. Free shipping, AND 25% off. Now, there aren't many things from MAC that I MUST have, but there is one thing, one little thing. It's a brush. I cannot find a brush like it ANYWHERE, and I need it. It's like 50USD though, and I cannot justify 50USD on a brush that I'm only going to be using on my own face at all. With a 25% discount, it would almost be justifiable, and almost is enough for me. But no, no, I'm not really allowed to spend money right this second, not during the THREE DAY SALE ON THE INTERNET. Thanks, MAC. You have impeccable timing, as always, like with Hello Kitty. And why did I not know that Fresh Brew was a permanent color? If I had known, I would not have bought it with HK. I would have bought one of the other, LE lipsticks instead. FAIL. 

In other news, someone drank all of my grape juice. ALL of my grape juice. Mind you, I drank most of it, but someone else finished MY BOTTLE OF GRAPE JUICE. Grape juice is my life. Grape juice is my second to water. If I had had my grape juice the other day instead of a CamelBak travel with a detached straw that was full of water, I would not have burned the shit out of my tongue with naproxen sodium. No. I would have washed it down, coating and all, with some sweet grape juice. I would not have a caustic burn SCAR on my tongue right now. I wouldn't have an extremely sensitive, painful spot on my tongue right now. My life would be significantly better if the grape juice had been there. 

The next time I buy grape juice, I am stockpiling it, and I will keep it all in my closet (because I definitely have the space), and I will always have grape juice. Forever. This will keep things like chemical burns in my mouth at bay. My life will be better. It's the little things, people. 

Also, this shopping habit has to stop. I hate having all this Stuff. It's ridiculous. I don't like it. 

I do, however, really like my NYX Jumbo Pencil in Black Bean. It is the smoothest one, and it worked amazingly for my Amanda Palmer makeup the other day. It made the perfect blood-red for my eyeshadow that I needed, and then I could use brown without looking like an idiot. It was fantastic, and my makeup was fantastic, and if I ever get the photos back I will make a slideshow, and I will submit it, and I will hope that I win because I really like winning, especially when the winning is talent based, and I've been feeling awfully low on my talent lately. 

I cannot decide if I like my Chanel better or if I like Juicy Couture better, the scents. I could sit and sniff them all day to decide, but I'd get a migraine, and since my brain is quite sensitive and migraine happy since I take awesome drugs that like to cause migraines, I'm not really in the mood to do that. 

I just spend three hours on blogtv. I love blogtv. It allows me to vicariously watch Intervention and laugh hysterically at incredibly awesome human beings. It somehow manages to give me a sense of hope in humanity or something. 

Now I feel like I need to watch and/or quote Clueless. 

Another thing, when my boyfriend is busy, and I call him, I expect him to do the respectful thing and ignore my call, like hit the ignore button. He never does. He either lets it ring until it goes to voicemail, or he answers and says he's busy. Both of which I hate. So I called him earlier to tell him something really exciting (and now I've forgotten what it was), but it was actually relevant to him, and I needed to tell him in real time, not through voicemail, and HE IGNORED MY PHONE CALL. Why? Just why. I mean seriously. THE ONE TIME. WHY?! 

I am so excited about Public Enemies it's not even funny. I am very confused about what role Marion Cotillard is actually playing, and I'm too lazy to IMDB that shit, so I'll stay confused until I see the movie THE DAY IT COMES TO THEATERS. I'm sure I've never discussed my interest in criminals, particularly bank robbers and serial killers. Now, John Dillinger was not a serial killer (or was he? hmmm ponder ponder), but he did rob banks, and I am fascinated by this bank robbing. So I am excited about this movie, and I need to see it, and besides that Johnny Depp makes a hot John Dillinger. And Marion Cotillard is just cute. How can you not want to pet her? or make friends with her? or just stare at her adorable little Frenchie face? I haven't been this excited about a movie since, like, that movie that was a huge letdown. You know the one. Watchmen. Huge disappointment. Huge. Epic. FAIL. 

I am also particularly excited about Harry Potter. It just looks really good. And I fucking love Harry Potter. 

Also, New Moon, just because Kristen Stewart looks totally hot in it, and that's a good enough reason for me. I believe I mentioned how much I hated that book, and I will probably suffer watching the movie, too, but it'll be worth it to see Kristen Stewart doing what she does best---being hot while being incredibly petulant and ungrateful and annoying and stupid and reckless and completely fucking pathetic. Hot is all that counts when it comes to these kinds of things. What else could anyone bring to Twilight? The raw material is shit. Also, Dakota Fanning plays one of the really mean, scary characters, and that has to be hilarious. HILARIOUS. I can just see it now. Hilarity will ensue. 

My car is hot. It needs air conditioning. I have to make all of my doctor appointments and such in the morning to avoid dying on the way. Therapy is only available in late afternoons though. Ugh. FAIL. 

I am pretty tired. 

Picture Posting Mood.

Prestige Liquid Liner in Pop Star
OPI Yoga-Ta Get This Blue!
China Glaze in Liquid Leather
A Grape Fit!

Done Out In Deco 
NYX Single Eye Shadow in Purple

Physician's Formula Baked Collection Wet/Dry Eyeshadow: Baked Oatmeal
L'oreal Telescopic Clean Definition mascara
NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Black Bean
Jane Be Pure Mineral Blush in Rose Satin
Revlon Colorstay Under Eye Concealer SPF 15 in Light/Medium
 Wet n Wild MegaSlicks Lip Gloss in Cherry something
 NYX Doll Eye Mascara: Long Lash

 MAC Slimshine Lipstick in Voile

 Jane maxlash² précise Lash Defining Mascara
Revlon Colorstay Mineral Finishing Powder in Brighten 

The photos don't do most of these justice, but I'm being lazy and not busing out the camera. Done. 

I shopped again.

 My lighting gives things a reddish glow, but I did my nails today with my new nail polish: A Grape Fit! by OPI. 

I also bought Done out in Deco, Yoga-Ta Get This Blue!, and a Revlon nail polish in Gold Get 'Em. The last was on clearance, and it's a really shimmery, pastel yellow. The OPI polishes are colors after which I have been lusting for quite some time. They're buy 2 get 1 free at Ulta, so I grabbed some. In the nail department I also bought OPI's AvoPlex exfoliating cuticle treatment. I'm pretty sure that I don't need it since I use my Burt's Bees cuticle creme everyday, but we'll see. I like the way it smells! 

I bought one more hair product for the week: got2b Smooth Operator Smoothing Lustre Lotion. It is a heat and UV protectant while also smoothing the hair, of course. I used it, and the smell bothers me (too sweet), but it did what it's supposed to do. I also used the mousse today. I like the mousse. It didn't make my hair feel gross or anything, but it has the same smell as the lotion, obviously. 

While at Ulta I got a NYX lipstick in Pandora. It's a purple color, the same color as the African Queen lip gloss. I like it in small doses. 

I also got the Physician's Formula Baked Collection Wet/Dry Eyeshadow in Baked Oatmeal. I swatched them, and they are all really pretty. The only problem is that the packaging is difficult to fit into my storage. I'm running out of space! And despite being a bit bulky, I like the little compact. It's a very thin line. 

I used the L'Oreal Telescopic mascara today, and I am not impressed. I don't know why anyone would be. As I said, the wand is flimsy, and when applied, the mascara is too wet. It clumped, too. While applying, the flimsy wand feels like it's going to break against my lashes. It lengthens well enough, no volumizing. It's just a normal mascara to me, not the worst, not the best. 

I also got a Twilight poster and stuck it on my door, but we don't need to talk about that (but it's so fucking hilarious). 

I finally figured out the proper way to use the Seche Vite topcoat, and it's a BITCH to use. One must let it bead up on the brush and then drop that onto the nail, then spread it around while the polish is still wet. It doesn't disturb the polish, but it can get a little messy. I got it all over my hands. Also, it is high maintenance! It requires a thinner to keep it workable. Otherwise it will get too hard and goopy to use. What the hell is that? I want a topcoat that I don't have to buy extra products to use! Anyway--I said my nails chipped before. Perhaps that was because I was applying the product incorrectly. We shall see. Perhaps it is worth buying the fucking Seche Restore that the Vite requires to keep. Ridiculous. 

I think my cousin's boyfriend should go on So You Think You Can Dance. He dances. 

Rubbish!

I cannot find the L'oreal Telescopic Explosion mascara anywhere, but there are so many new mascaras coming out that I'm super overwhelmed. I am such a ridiculous mascara junkie. That and foundation. I really want to try the regular Telescopic since I've never used it, but so many people seem to like it. I have low hopes of ever finding anything as wonderful as my Too Faced Lash Injection. It is quite a lot up to which to live, and no mascara I've tried has done it just yet. I still don't have a good brown or burgundy. Life will go on. 

I have been using my Revlon Matte Lipstick in Nude Attitude a lot lately. I really like the slightly subdued pinky tone it gives my lips. I do not find it to be drying at all. It may pass my MAC Fresh Brew (from Hello Kitty) as my favorite lipstick, though the Fresh Brew is really moisturizing. All of my other lip colors have been lonely since I've only been using the Revlon lately. Poor NYX lip glosses, Jane Lipkick, Maybelline something or other, etc. Oh, and my poor Rimmels. I love Rimmel lipsticks. They have such a nice texture, and color payoff is fantastic. The only problem is that the red I have is really messy. It's very difficult to get it on without making a huge mess! Maybe that's just me though. 

I am also really in love with my Maybelline Dream Matte Powder. I use it for touch ups during the day as I use a silica powder to set my makeup and MAC MSF natural/shimmer all over for a nice, dewy glow. It is more convenient to stick in my bag than the MSF. 

I think I should probably put some of my unloved perfumes and such on MUA. They are harder to ship since they are liquids, but since I do not like them and do not use them, it makes sense to send them off to someone who might like them. 

I am still sad that I am lacking purple in my life, and I am having a very difficult time finding a color shampoo that doesn't have a migraine inducing scent. Since I discovered that my Pureology was giving me migraines (oh woe!), I set out to find a new shampoo. They all seem to have similar scents that make my eyes explode and head pound, so I've been using my Organix Shea Butter shampoo. It's sulfate free, so I know it's not stripping color or anything out of my hair. So that's fine. I don't know that I have anything new to report on hair products. 

I haven't got any new nail polishes, but I NEED TO. I really need more purples. It's killing me. It's making me depressed. 

Lots of little, stupid things have been making me depressed lately, and I'm so tired of it. It's so stupid. I keep getting really angry at the boyfriend and angry about life and frustrated and hopeless and depressed and unhappy and just ... :o(. I have no appreciation for such mood fluctuations. My quality of life should be massively improved since I'm not in school at the moment (lots of rest), and I have all of my lovely medications. I fucking HATE people acting like my medicine makes me happy. It obviously does not. Seriously---fuck people who say shit like that. I think they need to be punched in the face by someone less pacifistic than I am. It is fucking infuriating. I believe I have lost all hope in humanity. I do not forgive people for treating their environment and fellow humans and animals the way they do. I do not know what else to feel toward them. 

I still feel really sad for the octopodes at the aquarium. They looked so sad. I do not think I have ever seen an animal looking so unhappy. I feel like one of those little octopodes, trapped and unhappy, unable to properly hide and unable to swim somewhere else.

Birthdays and Being Realistic

Today is my lovey's birthday, and I am super excited because I feel like I have finally had the chance to give him a really cool birthday present. I feel like I always give him really lame gifts. :o/ I hope this one is spectacular and that he loves it and all that cool stuff. 

I have been playing around with my nail polishes, and I decided that for this week my nails will be coated with OPI's Clubbin' Til Sunrise and China Glaze's Orange Marmalade. They make a really nice combination. It's very pretty and orange and glittery and nice. I also think that it will go really well with Love Dove's and my birthday activity tomorrow! :oD There was a more appropriate color I thought about using, but I was really in the mood to play, so I'm playing. Of course, in the process I managed to get nail polish on my new quilt! I hate myself. 

I am really, really anxious about tomorrow because I am horrified that something will go horribly awry, and I just want everything to be happy and fun and perfect. I have knots in my tummy! No party here! and I can't sleep, though I need to sleep really well in order to really give Love Dove a spectacular birthday. I haven't been this anxious in almost a year. I am so unaccustomed to feeling this way all of a sudden. It used to be routine. I like that it's not, but I really don't like it! Ugh. 

I am trying to form a realistic wish list with items that I can actually afford to buy for myself on a regular basis. I make these kinds of lists to remember things I want to try and remember things I really like and want to continue purchasing/using. Believe it or not, I can forget anything. 

This list includes a few unique makeup brushes (which generally don't need to be repurchased), one mascara, two or three eyeshadows, a couple of eyeshadow palettes (that won't need to be repurchased for a really long time), and more MSFs from MAC. 

My NYX Doll Eye mascara should be on its way to my house, assuming the person with whom I arranged the swap isn't a nasty swaplifter. It's OK if she is, but I'd like to get something out of it. I checked her swap tokens and all that stuff, and she had positive reviews, so I assume she's good for it. I cannot wait to try it. The problem is that I have already found my Holy Grail mascara, so why do I need to try more? Probably because my Holy Grail mascara is amazing and expensive as shit. But it's good, very good. I love it. 

Now I think I can manage sleep or something close. 

Just A Few of My Favorite Things

1. Yes to Carrots C is Smooth Body Moisturizing Lotion. The scent is divine, and all of their products smell this way. Delicious! 
2. NYX eyeshadow in "Rust." 
3. NYX Goddess of The Night Gloss in "African Queen." 
4. Everyday Minerals blush in "Snuggle."
5. CHI Silk Infusion
6. My new hair!
7. Removing acrylic nails
8. Secret Clinical Strength Anti-Perspirant/Deodorant
9. My skin looks good
10. Rimmel Lipstick in "Airy Fairy."
11. Revlon Matte Lipstick in "Nude Attitude." 
12. E.L.F. pro eyeshadow primer
13. applying the NYX eyeshadows I don't like with water! works beautifully
14. finding new alternatives
15. My rainbow quilt
16. Eco-Tools brushes
17. Chanel Allure
18. Love Dove's birthday present(s).
19. My new necklace that I haven't had an occasion to wear yet
20. the possibility of a new water heater as early as TODAY
21. the possibility of buying new nail polish and/or concealer (since I'm out)
22. Maybelline Age Rewind cream foundation
23. NYC Smooth Skin Bronzing Powder
24. Twin Peaks
25. valerian root capsules
26. Stila Convertible Lip/Cheek color in "Gerbera." 
27. Too Faced Shadow Insurance
28. Too Faced (the company)
29. Juicy Couture
30. Yes to Carrots chapstick in LEMON!

Industrial Woes.

My industrial in my ear was hurting really bad. When the jewelry is in, I can't see the holes to see if they are irritated, so I had to remove it, which I've never done. I have had this piercing for two years, and I have never removed the jewelry. Why would I? Well, for starters, when I removed it, it pulled gunk out. One problem with the industrial is that it makes it harder to clean that part of my ear because there is a bar in the way! So it gets gross. I realize now that I should remove it more often just to clean it. I mean I rinse it in the shower, but apparently that's not working so well. So I pulled it out, and the bar had gunk on it, and I was like "eiw." And then I poked around the holes to see what was going on, why they hurt, etc. The upper hole (the one closest to my head) is all crusty inside and out (in and out of my ear), and the lower hole is just really irritated and swollen. I assume it is from sleeping on it or something and putting a lot of pressure on the piercings. I am not sure what to do for the pain though other than take ibuprofen (which I probably shouldn't take).  This piercing doesn't respond well to ice or cold (it makes it hurt more), so I can't ice it. I have to put the jewelry back in eventually, obviously. I'm not even completely positive that I can get it back in. I know it is going to hurt. I should probably get some Provon for it. That might make it feel better. Provon makes everything feel better. Ouchies! :o/ 

In other news, I still need like a million more nail polishes. Love dove just doesn't understand this obsession. He doesn't see the lack of variety in my polishes. I don't really have that many. I will not count but eyeballing it I'd say twenty, maybe pushing thirty tops. NOT ENOUGH. Only TWO purples. Four blues. ONE red. four greens. idk. whatever. I need more. I mostly want more purples, more lilacs and lavenders and such. I only have glittery purples at the moment. I want creamy purple! And more yellow. I only have one yellow, and I'm not much of a fan of it. 

I have my first potential swap on MUA almost set up, and I am super excited. If all goes well, I will be receiving NYX Doll Eye mascara (which is on one of the lists below!) in exchange for my Boots No7 Mattifying Base, which doesn't work for my skin because it's just not oily enough. I am very excited to swap something. For one thing, it means I will not have wasted my money on something I don't use, but also, since I've never swapped before people don't want to swap with me because they don't know me. The more swaps I do, the more trusted I will be. So I want to swap! as much as possible. I suppose I should add all of those things on my lists below to my wish list on there, even though my list of items to swap is very small. I happen to like most of the makeup things I have purchased. 

It seems odd to wish for oily skin, but seriously ---oily skin looks younger longer, and I like younger skin. I always assume I will die before I can get wrinkles and such though. It just seems that it will happen. We'll see. 

I still can't decide where to stick my Arctic Ocean map! I am trying to get my room rearranged and remove shit I don't want/need in here and clean and organize and all that happy jazz. So I can't really make choices like that until it's all finishes. I just don't know what to do with all this Stuff. It is driving me crazy. I hate Stuff. And still I need more. Oy. 

I got stuff today!

  L'Oreal Glam Bronze in Matte Bronze 947 (honey/bronze)

NYX Goddess of the Night gloss in African Queen.
N.Y.C. Smooth Skin Bronzing Face Powder in Matte Bronzer 720 A (Sunny)
NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Strawberry Milk (605)
Rimmel Underground Eye Shadow in Three-Sum. 

I also bought Got2B Playful Texturizing Creme Pomade for my hairs. I love the way it smells and feels and works. It makes my hair nice without any crunchies. And a surprise. 

I chopped off all of my hair. It is very short. Very short, very cute. I like it. I love the new lip gloss. I love my N.Y.C. bronzer. I didn't buy it today though. I've been using it for a couple of weeks now as my contour, and I love it. Highly underrated. I haven't used any of the other stuff. I bought the Rimmel for the red. The white has a pink sheen to it. I like it. I cannot wait to try the eye pencil with my hot pink eye shadow to see if it helps it have color. 

On that note, I am giving up on NYX Chick eye shadow. It ALWAYS looks chunky on my eyes, like neon yellow mold. I have tried every base I have. I have tried mixing it with Too Faced Shadow Insurance. I have tried everything, and it never looks good. Even when I use it alone, it looks like crap. So--I don't know what to do with it. Swap? Lie about how it sucks? I don't know. I'm too not bad of a person to do that. 

I have been on another Twin Peaks binge. I love Twin Peaks. Twin Peaks! I am almost finished with season two and then I shall watch Fire Walk with Me and be super creeped out! Yay Twin Peaks!