Scooby Dooby Doo Where Are You?

I cannot stop singing the Scooby Doo theme song. I think everyone in my house wants to kill me. 

More makeup blabbering to follow:

I got Revlon Colorstay Mineral Finishing Powder in Brighten, which is very similar to MAC's MSFs, except as far as I can tell there is little color pay off. It's is light pink with white and darker pink veining, and it applies as a soft, shimmery sort of thing, which I like. This means I can stop abusing my MAC MSF natural/shimmer because the shimmer side is almost gone (I use it on a daily basis because it is my LOVE), and I don't know if I'll be able to get another one, since they are no longer available in MAC stores/counters/website. I like the really soft, shimmery effect on my skin. I like it to look dewy. The only problem I have with putting a bunch of powder on my face is that it makes my dry skin unhappy. I'd actually really like to try the bronzey MFP from Revlon, and some of their mineral blushes. I like the texture of this one. 

 I've been trying to use my normal face lotions the past few days since they're neglected, but they don't give my skin the moisture it needs. I to use a facial cream. It makes me sad that my skin is so desperate for moisture. Luckily, I finally got the right cleansers for my skin. 

I also bought L'oreal Telescopic Clean Definition mascara in blackest black, finally. First impression is that the wand is really flimsy. How the hell do people use these cheap, flimsy wands? I hate them. I have not yet used the mascara, obviously, but I suppose I will try it out tomorrow. 

I also bought Jane Maxlash² precise Lash Defining Mascara in black, of course. I just grabbed it on a whim because it was on sale. Again, it has a really flimsy wand. I hate flimsy wands! I will try this one on Sunday or something. 

I also grabbed Jane Be Pure Mineral Gliding Liner in Earth (03). I'll probably use it as a brow pencil, but I like the color enough to line my eyes with it. I trust Jane in that regard. I really like Jane products. I find that they are highly underrated as far as drugstore makeup goes. So far, I've only swatched it, and it comes out this beautiful reddish brown, and it's pretty smooth. We'll see how it works on my face!

I also bought Jane Be Pure Mineral Blush in Rose Satin. It's a nice peachy color, which is what I have been wanting for a while. Swatching it on my hand proved it to be very sheer but very pigmented and pretty. I really like it, and I think it will look fantastic on my skin tone. The texture is very smooth. We'll see how it works on my face, but again--Jane is so underrated. It's a wonderful drugstore brand that makes highly pigmented eyeshadows, blushes, liners--everything. I haven't found any products of theirs to particularly dislike, except the pluming lip gloss. 

I also bought got2b Smooth Operator Smoothing Luxury Mousse to help in styling my hair. I have tried it yet, but I got it 2USD off, so that's good. I put a lot of faith in got2b products, so I'm not concerned about how well it will work. From what I've been able to smell, it smells good. All of my got2b products smell delicious though. 

I also got a huge tub to pull my winter wardrobe in. It barely fits... I need to go through it and fold it all and get it organized so all of it will fit. I was just really tired of my closet being super crowded. I'm considering selling a lot of my stuff because I just have too many things. I am not one to have so many things, though I do continue to buy things. It's very difficult to explain. Don't ask. (but it's in my post about compulsions, so maybe you should read that, k?) 

My Closet.

My closet is driving me nuts. It is fucking disorganized to the point of --being really obnoxious. I've got all my winter clothes peeping out, screaming "we're hot and itchy! wear us!" but no no I will not wear you! I must get storage bins to put them in, but WHERE to put the bins? Under the bed is taken. I have so much Stuff that even organizational bins won't help me! And none of it is worth selling on ebay.  Well, perhaps a couple of my coats could go, but I love them! why would I get rid of them? I already moved formal gowns to my sister's closet since she doesn't put her clothes in it.  My closet needs to be reorganized with storage bins for sweaters and coats. And perhaps the pea coat ought to go. I'm sure someone would want it. I certainly don't. And there are boxes in there that could go in the attic, though I will not part with my Chinese tea set. I've already had one thing from my grandmother stolen from me. I shall not risk another. Besides, I love that tea set. It's probably full of lead, but it is beautiful! Oh well. I'll have to go through everything and toss things and move things and so on and so forth. Summer projects! 

I've already moved one giant rubbermaid bin out of my room and into one of the basement rooms, yet I could use like four more. Ugh. 

So I have a deep yearning for organizational tools. And people to organize for me. And new window dressings, thermal ones for temperature and light control. And more lamps. And stuff. But really, organization is key.

I thought of this because I was doing laundry, and I had to go to the closet. Ugh.

I shall be the brownest white girl you know.

Every time I see my psychiatrist, I tell him I can't focus on anything, and I can't concentrate, and I TRY to begin to explain how school works for me (which is a fucking disaster), and I never get to finish. He always interrupts me. My therapist has advised me to just ask him to consider ADHD meds instead of so much anxiety crap because she notices a lot of ADHD symptoms, and since she spends more time with me, I trust her more, particularly since my psychiatrist (and his FUCKING CUNT of a nurse) doesn't really pay attention to the nuances of my bullshit. However, ADHD could explain lack of concentration and focus, anxiety, irritability--pretty much every problem I have, except the moths and the cardboard.

When I first went to see the doctor, he had two umbrella diagnoses for me: severe anxiety disorder(s) and ADHD. He decided to go with the anxiety since I had so many symptoms of panic disorder, which makes sense. However, I still can't do anything productive all that well, no matter how motivated I am or how badly I want to or anything. I really do try. And I admit that sometimes I am just lazy, but even then---that's not really my nature. I don't know how to explain anything. I am working it out in therapy slowly. Admitting to being lazy at times (like with math) is a very important step. And my mom says therapy is useless. My mother also believes I am dishonest with my therapist about how irritable I am, which is nonsense. I have straight up told my therapist that I almost HATE being around other people for any length of time because I am so easily irritated. And I'm pretty sure my boyfriend could back me up on that. SO hmph! 

I'm starting to organize my thoughts for my presentation on Monday. I e-mailed a very disorganized outline to my partner. I hope it doesn't scare the crap out of her. She's already like done a lot of research and written out her little speech, and I'm like "well I think I'm gonna talk about this and this but not this, so you should talk about this..." like it's day one. I promised her that it will all be there on Monday though, even if I don't seem prepared right now (even though I am). I have my process. She doesn't know me or my process, and she has no reason to trust it. So. I hope she's not like "omgwhathaveIdonebypartneringwiththisgirl?!" and horrified. 

So this Twilight soundtrack is still amazing, and you're still missing out. Hardcore. I also happen to know that the best song on the soundtrack, the best song in the whole movie, was handpicked by my Kristen Stewart. ha! I still wonder if perhaps she's into the ladies. I'd totally date her. Or move to Iowa and marry her. In a second. (this is based on more than the movie. I promise.) Moving on. 

I want this lipgloss. It's red. It has green flecks of glitter in it. NEED. I have a huge list of "things I need" at the moment, and it needs to just go away. It's mostly lip gloss. 

Oh, btw, today I bought the Jergens Natural Glow Mousse stuff instead of the lotion b/c I'm running out of the lotion, and I needed more, and I was only going to Publix (the worst store in existence...ugh), and the only one they had in my color was the mousse, so I had to get that one. It does dry really fast, but it also feels really streaky because it dries so quickly that I can't get it smoothed around to different places quickly enough. And it's hard to get out. The pump thing is very resistant. And yeah. I don't know if I like it better than the lotion yet. I only put it on my legs since they're so resistant to color. It's really strange because my feet take the color, and my legs don't. So my feet are tanned. My arms are tanned. My neck, face, and ears are tanned. My torso is tanned. My legs are not. And that's really where I want the color the most because I have so many bruises that need to be covered up by the color. Hideous bruises. I'm really starting to think I have cancer or something. It's fucking ridiculous--- -25lbs and bruises? and headaches? and my nose bleeding like every five minutes and not wanting to stop? AND stuff...ufalsiduf. Hypochondriac. I'm not a hypochondriac. I just tell myself that to feel comforted. Anyway---the mousse stuff does make my skin feel very soft, but then, my legs have always been really soft. And since I shaved TODAY, I'm sure that helps. So we'll see how this mousse goes. I might just buy that fake tanner that you put on that lasts until the next time you shower when I want my legs to be colored since they are so resistant. 

I missed all of my naps today. Exhausted. 

I totally forgot that a certain important date is coming up until a couple of days ago, and apparently the person with whom I share this anniversary is also quite forgetful (or uninterested, oh he'd never). I'm really surprised I'm able to keep up with it, actually. I tend to be really, really bad about remember that kind of stuff. But not this time. I think I might have therapy that day. Oh, it's the day after. Yes. Therapy is the day after the anniversary. Anyway. That should be fun. Like two weeks. (or two and a half...). 

I'm sleepy. I suppose I shall slumber.