Another one!

First things first, I think I'm really beginning to WANT that neat Konad stamping system for your nails. I think it's super cute to have certain things on your nails. I'll consider purchasing it or adding it to a wish list at a later date. It's not expensive at all, either, especially since I just want the stamper/scraper set, two special polishes, and one design plate. That amounts to about 30USD.

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The above photo is a photo of incredibly adorable/delicious things I have accumulated recently. It's a small amount, obviously, because I didn't put any makeup in. 

Left to right back row: Mushables kitty that meows when you squeeze it. Trolli Brite Crawlers (and the photo is backwards...sorry). EASTER DINOSAUR. front row: cute headbands: satin black, brown feathers, black/white feathers. adorable photo album from baby shower AND the new sunglasses I got yesterday. 

I have plans for those sunglasses, aside from using them to shield my eyes from the evil sun. They are super retro cute. I also have a lei on loan for photo purposes. Don't worry; all will unfold soon.

I'm still using my tanning lotion. I'm considering using the stuff that does it super fast instead of the one I'm currently using. IDK. It doesn't last very long. I have to buy a new bottle like..every two weeks or so. I haven't though because I don't use it every day. I use it twice a day though for about a week to have a nice tan for a few days, and then I decide that my paleness is OK and leave it alone. 

I did not study for my history final at all, and I hate myself. I should probably go to sleep right now. 

I may watch a movie first. I am having a lot of difficulty sleeping, and I don't want to take valerian root tonight because I need to be up to take my final at 3:30.

I discussed some of the changes I'd like to make to my bedroom with my mother, and she seemed OK with them. I told her I want different blinds and curtains for temperature control. I also think I want to change the theme in here--not sure though. I am still really sad that I didn't get the amazing rainbow set from Target. :o/ It was so cute. 

I love calamine. And I love my eye cream. 

Good night. 

I shall be the brownest white girl you know.

Every time I see my psychiatrist, I tell him I can't focus on anything, and I can't concentrate, and I TRY to begin to explain how school works for me (which is a fucking disaster), and I never get to finish. He always interrupts me. My therapist has advised me to just ask him to consider ADHD meds instead of so much anxiety crap because she notices a lot of ADHD symptoms, and since she spends more time with me, I trust her more, particularly since my psychiatrist (and his FUCKING CUNT of a nurse) doesn't really pay attention to the nuances of my bullshit. However, ADHD could explain lack of concentration and focus, anxiety, irritability--pretty much every problem I have, except the moths and the cardboard.

When I first went to see the doctor, he had two umbrella diagnoses for me: severe anxiety disorder(s) and ADHD. He decided to go with the anxiety since I had so many symptoms of panic disorder, which makes sense. However, I still can't do anything productive all that well, no matter how motivated I am or how badly I want to or anything. I really do try. And I admit that sometimes I am just lazy, but even then---that's not really my nature. I don't know how to explain anything. I am working it out in therapy slowly. Admitting to being lazy at times (like with math) is a very important step. And my mom says therapy is useless. My mother also believes I am dishonest with my therapist about how irritable I am, which is nonsense. I have straight up told my therapist that I almost HATE being around other people for any length of time because I am so easily irritated. And I'm pretty sure my boyfriend could back me up on that. SO hmph! 

I'm starting to organize my thoughts for my presentation on Monday. I e-mailed a very disorganized outline to my partner. I hope it doesn't scare the crap out of her. She's already like done a lot of research and written out her little speech, and I'm like "well I think I'm gonna talk about this and this but not this, so you should talk about this..." like it's day one. I promised her that it will all be there on Monday though, even if I don't seem prepared right now (even though I am). I have my process. She doesn't know me or my process, and she has no reason to trust it. So. I hope she's not like "omgwhathaveIdonebypartneringwiththisgirl?!" and horrified. 

So this Twilight soundtrack is still amazing, and you're still missing out. Hardcore. I also happen to know that the best song on the soundtrack, the best song in the whole movie, was handpicked by my Kristen Stewart. ha! I still wonder if perhaps she's into the ladies. I'd totally date her. Or move to Iowa and marry her. In a second. (this is based on more than the movie. I promise.) Moving on. 

I want this lipgloss. It's red. It has green flecks of glitter in it. NEED. I have a huge list of "things I need" at the moment, and it needs to just go away. It's mostly lip gloss. 

Oh, btw, today I bought the Jergens Natural Glow Mousse stuff instead of the lotion b/c I'm running out of the lotion, and I needed more, and I was only going to Publix (the worst store in existence...ugh), and the only one they had in my color was the mousse, so I had to get that one. It does dry really fast, but it also feels really streaky because it dries so quickly that I can't get it smoothed around to different places quickly enough. And it's hard to get out. The pump thing is very resistant. And yeah. I don't know if I like it better than the lotion yet. I only put it on my legs since they're so resistant to color. It's really strange because my feet take the color, and my legs don't. So my feet are tanned. My arms are tanned. My neck, face, and ears are tanned. My torso is tanned. My legs are not. And that's really where I want the color the most because I have so many bruises that need to be covered up by the color. Hideous bruises. I'm really starting to think I have cancer or something. It's fucking ridiculous--- -25lbs and bruises? and headaches? and my nose bleeding like every five minutes and not wanting to stop? AND stuff...ufalsiduf. Hypochondriac. I'm not a hypochondriac. I just tell myself that to feel comforted. Anyway---the mousse stuff does make my skin feel very soft, but then, my legs have always been really soft. And since I shaved TODAY, I'm sure that helps. So we'll see how this mousse goes. I might just buy that fake tanner that you put on that lasts until the next time you shower when I want my legs to be colored since they are so resistant. 

I missed all of my naps today. Exhausted. 

I totally forgot that a certain important date is coming up until a couple of days ago, and apparently the person with whom I share this anniversary is also quite forgetful (or uninterested, oh he'd never). I'm really surprised I'm able to keep up with it, actually. I tend to be really, really bad about remember that kind of stuff. But not this time. I think I might have therapy that day. Oh, it's the day after. Yes. Therapy is the day after the anniversary. Anyway. That should be fun. Like two weeks. (or two and a half...). 

I'm sleepy. I suppose I shall slumber. 

Tanning! and shopping with other people's money.

So I believe I mentioned that I purchased Jergens Natural Glow moisturizer? It's amazing! I have a tan! and no skin cancer! The only bad thing is that I forget to wash my hands sometimes, and I have orangey ickyness between my fingers on my right hand! :o( I'm considering that perhaps I should buy the mousse form instead of the lotion. I hear it's less streaky since it dries faster. The lotion isn't streaky, but it's more difficult to get an even coat of lotion. I have a swirl of tan/not tan on my shoulder because I'm stupid and can't rub lotion in on that spot, apparently. It's OK since I rarely show any skin. And my skin isn't sickeningly pale! I'm also using it on my face, which means I need to buy at least one foundation that is a shade darker as my skin is now darker. I've just been using my amazing Everyday Minerals foundation samples since I bought a couple that are a little darker. I LOOOVE them. Anyway...I'm colored! yay. 

I painted my nails with Solar Power from China Glaze, and I must say that I am a tad disappointed. All nail polish is buy two get one free at Sally's, so I bought some, of course, and I've discovered that despite my large collection of China Glaze polishes, I'm not a huge fan of them at all. They're of a much lower quality than OPI, even though they're supposed to be equal. Although OPI is more expensive. And the Gargantuan Green Grape from OPI that I bought is also a disappointment. Anyway--Solar Power is a bright yellow, sort of marigold, with very slight shimmer. In the bottle it looks really pretty and really shimmery and less obnoxious than it does on my fingers. It's also one of those colors that has to be applied perfectly otherwise your nails look like crap. My nails look like crap, but I'm not redoing them. I have to attend a baby shower tomorrow, and I need to sleep, etc. etc. I still like the color, of course. I haven't even used most of my new nail polishes. That is rather sad. I really like the neon purple one though. I think it's called Purple Dragon. It's really pretty. 

Orly lies. Their Won't Chip does not keep nails from chipping for two weeks. It lasts one week at best, but that could be my water. I know the water in my shower is not as..soft, I guess..as it needs to be. 

Yesterday I bought a a few new storage items. I bought another little drawer thing for my makeup since the collection is always growing, and I bought a basket thing and a larger, clear container for my hair products. I'm not sure where I'll put these storage things, but I needed them. They all match, too! That's happy. 

Pierre went to the doctor yesterday as well. He weighs three pounds and thirteen ounces. The doctor says he's doing really well, exceptionally well, actually. Apparently dogs aren't supposed to know how to walk on a leash at twelve weeks. Or jump the way he does. Or do anything as accelerated as he does. I have a smart puppy! Yay! And we bought him those pads for the floor, and he uses them! good puppers. We also discussed different methods of making him stop biting. He's a little snapper! Also, he is super friendly and excitable. He wanted to see everyone in the office. We saw an old Russian man (RUSSIAN!!!) in the waiting room, and Pierre ran up to him and started begging for pets and stuff. I apologized to the man, of course, but he really didn't seem to mind. And he kept trying to kiss the doctor. And well--he just loves everyone. He had to get shots and stuff. 

Speaking of dogs---on the way home from buying foods I saw an injured doggy! It looked very familiar. I tried to get the doggy to come to me, so I could look at its leg (since that's what was injured), but of course it was skittish and refused. The poor thing. I hope someone catches it and helps it. I could swear I've seen that dog before though. Poor puppers.

Love dove also gave me a shelf for my printer and stuff. So I have like two feet of extra floor space now! Yay.

I washed my car the other day, right before it rained. I'm quite smart that way. I didn't know it was going to rain! And I was in one of those moods. I absolutely had to clean the car right then, inside and out. I feel much better in the car now. It needed to be vacuumed and such. 

Oh, when I was at Sally's I also bought this foot stuff called Heel to Toe. I really like it, and it makes my feet feel soft. My feet are already soft, but I figure it can't hurt to make them softer. I should go back and buy a larger jar of it. I got the mini one to test it.  

I also had to buy a different kind of sunscreen than I normally buy because Target decided they weren't going to stock my usual in SPF 45, only SPF 15, which is unacceptable. I had to buy something else from the same company in SPF 70 or something, which is just stupid. No one needs SPF 70, unless they live in a glass house. 

I've been on a Harry Potter kick lately. I've been all "Harry Potter Harry Potter Harry Potter!!!" I've watched all four of the movies I own like ten times the past two days. 

I took a test in psychology. I know I did not fail it. That's good. I feel like I'm doing better. 

My family is not very familial. At all. I would call them saboteurs, at best. My siblings now make fun of me for being on psychiatric medications. That's pretty awesome, except not.