Rubbish!

I cannot find the L'oreal Telescopic Explosion mascara anywhere, but there are so many new mascaras coming out that I'm super overwhelmed. I am such a ridiculous mascara junkie. That and foundation. I really want to try the regular Telescopic since I've never used it, but so many people seem to like it. I have low hopes of ever finding anything as wonderful as my Too Faced Lash Injection. It is quite a lot up to which to live, and no mascara I've tried has done it just yet. I still don't have a good brown or burgundy. Life will go on. 

I have been using my Revlon Matte Lipstick in Nude Attitude a lot lately. I really like the slightly subdued pinky tone it gives my lips. I do not find it to be drying at all. It may pass my MAC Fresh Brew (from Hello Kitty) as my favorite lipstick, though the Fresh Brew is really moisturizing. All of my other lip colors have been lonely since I've only been using the Revlon lately. Poor NYX lip glosses, Jane Lipkick, Maybelline something or other, etc. Oh, and my poor Rimmels. I love Rimmel lipsticks. They have such a nice texture, and color payoff is fantastic. The only problem is that the red I have is really messy. It's very difficult to get it on without making a huge mess! Maybe that's just me though. 

I am also really in love with my Maybelline Dream Matte Powder. I use it for touch ups during the day as I use a silica powder to set my makeup and MAC MSF natural/shimmer all over for a nice, dewy glow. It is more convenient to stick in my bag than the MSF. 

I think I should probably put some of my unloved perfumes and such on MUA. They are harder to ship since they are liquids, but since I do not like them and do not use them, it makes sense to send them off to someone who might like them. 

I am still sad that I am lacking purple in my life, and I am having a very difficult time finding a color shampoo that doesn't have a migraine inducing scent. Since I discovered that my Pureology was giving me migraines (oh woe!), I set out to find a new shampoo. They all seem to have similar scents that make my eyes explode and head pound, so I've been using my Organix Shea Butter shampoo. It's sulfate free, so I know it's not stripping color or anything out of my hair. So that's fine. I don't know that I have anything new to report on hair products. 

I haven't got any new nail polishes, but I NEED TO. I really need more purples. It's killing me. It's making me depressed. 

Lots of little, stupid things have been making me depressed lately, and I'm so tired of it. It's so stupid. I keep getting really angry at the boyfriend and angry about life and frustrated and hopeless and depressed and unhappy and just ... :o(. I have no appreciation for such mood fluctuations. My quality of life should be massively improved since I'm not in school at the moment (lots of rest), and I have all of my lovely medications. I fucking HATE people acting like my medicine makes me happy. It obviously does not. Seriously---fuck people who say shit like that. I think they need to be punched in the face by someone less pacifistic than I am. It is fucking infuriating. I believe I have lost all hope in humanity. I do not forgive people for treating their environment and fellow humans and animals the way they do. I do not know what else to feel toward them. 

I still feel really sad for the octopodes at the aquarium. They looked so sad. I do not think I have ever seen an animal looking so unhappy. I feel like one of those little octopodes, trapped and unhappy, unable to properly hide and unable to swim somewhere else.

makeup stuff and why I haven't said anything about books in a really long time

Makeup: 

I bought this new foundation that feels really thick on my skin, but it gives amazing coverage, and it makes me look gorgeous without covering my freckles. It is Maybelline Instant Age Rewind cream foundation. It applies best with fingers, even though I really don't like to put it on with my fingers, and it works perfectly on my skin with my Stila convertible color in gerbera, which is my love love love of all blushes. This foundations does good things for my skin, but if I accidentally put too much (usually if I use a brush) it will actually make me look like I have wrinkles, like where my forehead creases and such. It is not cute, and it makes me furious. If I can apply it lightly (with my fingers or a damp sponge), it's perfect, and I love it. 

I also bought Boots No7 Colour Calming makeup base. It's green. I bought it because my face has been this undesirable red color lately, and it's horrendous, but this stuff is like green water. I didn't notice any difference except that I had to put more foundation over it to cover the green, which made me feel like I was wearing a clay mask all day. I might have used too much, so I'm not going to rule it out just yet. I'll try it tomorrow! 

I also finally bought the travel/mineral brush set from Eco-Tools, and I love them. I really like every single brush, except the kabuki brush. The bristles are too long to behave as a kabuki brush should, so it's more like a compact powder brush. Since I don't use or like kabuki brushes (I prefer flat top brushes), it works perfectly for me. I really like the little bamboo pouch. It fits the perfect amount of essentials for a night out (for touch ups). For school days, 12 hours, I need a larger bag. 

That might be all I've gotten in the way of new makeup lately. I don't know if I mentioned my Coastal Scents stuff or not, but I love the 26 eyeshadow/blush palette. I hate the peach bellini gel eyeliner. It's bright ass pink. It does not work as a base. It is NOT peach. I use it as on my bottom lash line occasionally to brighten up an otherwise neutral look. I just noticed there is a superficial break in the glass of my jar though, and it's too late for me to contact Coastal Scents about it, but I am furious. I did not pay seven dollars for a broken jar. I really love the turquoise gel liner. It is beautiful and sparkly and works perfectly as a base or as a shadow color on its own. It's gorgeous. 

I am planning to head to my CCO soon to see if I can find a couple of MAC pigments at a discounted price. I love saving money! And I only need one or two. And a brush, maybe. There are a couple of other things as well, but it's mostly for the pigments. I can't decide if I want to buy more of the lip conditioner in the tube, in the twist-up thing, or the jar. Maybe I'll just buy all three since I like it so much. 

Skincare:

I bought a tub of Jason Natural aloe vera cream moisturizer, and it's so amazing. I use it on my whole body (and my face at night --I alternate it with my firming cream), and it moisturizes so well, and a little bit goes a very long way. For a seven dollar tub of cream, it's working wonders for my skin, and it's going to last me quite a while. And the smell. The smell is pure deliciousness (if you're a nature nut like me). 

I'm considering a new skin care regimen from The Body Shop. I don't want any sulfates in my cleansers, and that's the only place I can find a cleanser I like that does what I want that does not contain sulfates. So. It's obviously a bit more expensive than what I use now, but in the long run, I think it's worth it. And I love The Body Shop's policies. I love their scents, their lotions, everything. I might buy some bath stuff as well, since that's also difficult to find without sulfates. 

Haircare:

Speaking of sulfates, I'm switching my shampoo. I have been using my Dr. Bronner's pure castile soap in lavendar, but I'm starting to be disturbed by the texture, so I am going to try Kiss My Face Whenever shampoo, or maybe the volumizing one. The point is I do not want sulfates in my shampoo. My conditioner is fine. I've only been washing my hair twice a week at most, since I'm considering growing it out. I'm trying to make sure it's as healthy as possible in the event that I don't have it all chopped off again soon, since I can't make up my mind. I am also trying to use as little heat as possible, which is working well since my hair is now at a length where it can stand on its own without much heat styling. And it air dries pretty quickly, which is a good sign. 

Why I Haven't Been Discussing Any Books:

I haven't been reading anything. I read "Hero and Leander" by Christopher Marlowe for school, and it's absolutely beautiful and should be read by all, but other than that I have either been on the internet doing research or trying to sleep or just fucking around. My mind cannot concentrate on a book right now. 

My friend sent me a promotional copy of his book, and I am expected to read it and get back to him with a review. I received the book a few weeks ago. I have not read a single page. I just cannot focus. I do not know how I managed to focus on all four Twilight books at all. I suppose since the writing is rather juvenile, it was easier, and it requires much less attention. 

I have also been working on all these movies S sent me. He sent me a ton of movies, and I feel so pressured into watching all of them and letting him know how I feel about them. Blarg. I shall get it all done. I am super Jew! 

Miscellaneous:

I haven't had any desire to buy shoes in a while. Good thing? Bad thing? I don't know.