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14 April 2009

And it continues...

Today I gave in to two of my most severe problems: obsession and compulsivity. 

I went shopping. I did not buy anything though because I found nothing of interest, except this one thing, but I figured it would not fit, and I did not want to try it on, so I left it. I walked out of the store, to my car and cried. Yes, cried. That was the compulsion.

I thought I had an English test today. I didn't. We were watching a movie. My teacher pushed the test back a week, which I would have known had I been to class in the past week and a half. I am having problems. 

The obsessing is something I am not going to discuss openly, but it's something that has caused me most emotional unrest for quite some time, and I HATE IT. The source of the emotional unrest is a person, a bad person to be sure, and this person should be eradicated from existence, or at least my peripheral existence. This probably won't happen. I might have to take certain matters into my own hands, and I know how badly that always goes. 

All the bad is coming back with this new medications, and I don't like it. Doctor on Thursday. He's going to get an earful. I am very displeased. And tired ALL the time. 

So I bought this new nail polish last week from OPI called Gargantuan Green Grape, and I was so excited when it arrived today, so I just HAD to try it out like ten minutes ago. It sucks. It is very similar to another, better, cheaper color that I already have (I was led to believe it was lighter but..not really), and it required THREE COATS. It still doesn't really look particularly decent on my nails. I'm pretty peeved to say the least. 

Also on my list of excruciatingly frustrating things is my boyfriend. What else? He lacks direction and drive and motivation and purpose (like I do), and he has no goals. I don't know how you live a life without a goal. What are you doing? Why do you do anything? And he won't talk about anything, anymore. And he has so many convenient excuses. It's fucking ridiculous. I hope that this is the one blog entry that he actually bothers to read, as he's told me a few times that he has no idea where this blog is EVEN THOUGH it is conveniently linked on my Facebook profile for all to read. Awesome. He's really fine. I'm just really pissed off right now. Three paragraphs ago involves him. 

Happy things to end the post: A lovely friend sent me a pound of gummi Smurfs, and some random, mystery gummi things. I am afraid to eat them, but I am sure I will do that soon. 

I don't have enough blue in my life. 

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