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30 April 2009

Despite having better things to do, I feel the urge to type.

So type I shall. 

The Twilight soundtrack is amazing. I think no one believes me because they think the movie/books is/are so stupid, which is true, but the soundtrack is so good! It's better if your pretend that the awful Muse song isn't on there. I hate that song. I hate the scene in which it appears. I hate that it exists on my Twilight soundtrack. 

My therapist said she read Twilight recently for whatever reason, so we finally got to discuss how she told me to read it, etc., etc. Anyway. 

I particularly like updating this blog because I know it goes directly to my boyfriend's inbox, and I would bet that he either doesn't click on it, or he just deletes it because by now he's realized I don't say anything interesting here, not like I do elsewhere. I don't like being asked to explain myself to others. That's why I don't say anything I'd need to explain, like something intelligent. Ha. 

It's almost time for Bones. I watch that show because Dr. Brennen (or whatever her name is) is hot in a nerdy, scientist kind of way. Or a she-has-pretty-eyes kind of way. Or any other attractive way. The point is that I hate TV, and I hate watching TV, but I watch that show because it's got nerdy stuff in it. I like anything with nerdy stuff in it. 

Speaking of Nerdy Things, I bought the issue of National Geographic that has the baby mammoth stuff in it just because it has the baby mammoth stuff in it (and lots of information about genetics, my particular area of interest --you know, what I want to do with my life, nothing big), and it came with this Arctic Ocean map, and I really like the map. I am trying to find a good place to put it. Now I want a subscription to the magazine, so I can have all the maps. And I can't even read maps! Or clocks. The map is cool. That's all you need to know. 

The clock reading thing is sad and a bit embarrassing. My partner in English and I got stuck sitting in the classroom for a long time just discussing our project because our teacher never showed up, and I tried to turn around and look at the clock to see if I was late for my next class, and I was like "oh, I can't read that clock. Why do I even bother?" So she turned around and told me the time! That's so sad. I was helping her with her math homework, and she has to tell me the time! And I ended up half an hour late to my next class. 
I can read the clock. I just have to look really hard for a long time. I'm too accustomed to not reading clocks because it takes up space in my brain to do so, and I need all my brain space for other, more important things. 
I wish I had a Pen Sieve. I believe that's what that thing is called. 

I ate all of my gummi Smurfs. Now I have the gummi Coke bottles left. I'm still afraid to eat them. Very afraid. I was discussing my fears of certain foods with my therapist on Tuesday. Apparently I have serious food issues, which I'm sure I could have told anyone myself. We've also discussed my problems with cardboard. Apparently my medication should help with that. She thinks I need to see an anxiety specialist, and she's probably right. The problem is that finding one takes me farther from home and leaves me spending more monies. The point is that I should not still be running away from moths or putting on gloves to touch cardboard. Other people must think I'm so fucking weird. 

My partner and I broke up our presentation into three five-minute sections. She said she needs to organize things, so I organized it for us. We have five minutes on Mary Leapor, which she will discuss, five minutes on Swift and Montagu and Leapor, and five minutes on Alexander Pope and Mary Leapor. We decided it would be best to tie Mary Leapor into the whole thing because they all relate very easily, and it's easier for us to make it a smooth presentation. The problem is that we only have fifteen minutes, and in the process of trying to make it a good presentation, I could very easily make it far too complicated for what it is. I tried to tell my partner, S, that I could and would make it complicated if she let me, so I strongly encouraged her to give me more feedback. I felt like I was taking control over the whole thing, but that could just be that she's a tad on the shy side. The presentation seems like it should go well, if I can control my urge to give my class an extremely long lecture. S has five minutes of discussion (because she's less comfortable speaking than I am), and I have ten minutes of discussion, which I could easily turn into twenty minutes if allowed. There are two other presentations happening on our day (Monday), so I am almost tempted to volunteer to go first to keep myself in check in consideration of the other two groups. It would probably be better for my partner as well since she's very uncomfortable speaking. That's why I gave her the first five minutes. That way for the rest of the presentation she can sit behind the computer, in the dark corner, and kind of hide and not attract attention and relax. So--over the weekend we are e-mailing back and forth all of our research, our outlines (well, my outlines--because I have to do it that way), and information and such, and she's putting together the power point since I'm not able to do so (Keynote is not compatible with my school's version of MS PowerPoint, unfortunately). I trust her. We agree on everything, or she's afraid of arguing with me. One of those two things is the case. 


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