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22 June 2009

iPhones and Jewish Weddings.

Since it was Father's Day and all, I went with the love to the parent's house to NOM and know, do that stuff. In the process, his mom and I had a discussion about how he has to convert in order for me to have my dream Jewish wedding, octopus chuppah and all. Even though I'm not an active Jew or anything. I'm ridiculous, and my mother thought it was ridiculous, and D is technically Catholic. Filthy Catholics! It was hilarious. I love that my meds allow me to be more sociable. Also, in order to be polite I ate some rather rare--too rare for my tastes--meat which really nauseated me as I dislike the taste of meat that isn't cooked thoroughly, and it was unpleasant, but the only other thing I was eating was potatoes. I figured I should throw some extra protein in there. The things I do for love...

I want an iPhone. I just decided. Why not have all Apple products? I hope it comes to Verizon, so I can have it. I hated AT&T, so I will never switch back to it. 

I've decided (on the love's suggestion) to find all the social libertarians and form a gigantic progressive group that will take over the nation! because though I voted for Dear Obama, I find that I am currently disappointed in him. He seems a little weak sometimes. I want a really kick ass president, not one who goes to war over nothing, but you know--one that can scare people like Kim Jong-il, the tiny North Korean man. 

I scheduled therapy for today! because I'm not feeling especially well lately (mentally, of course), and I am starting to think she's really helping me. I feel as though I am making progress. 

Sometimes I feel rather guilty for ignoring things like Father's Day and my dad's birthday because I'm sure that somewhere he loves me in his own warped way, but I am comforted in the fact that he never acts like he wants to be my dad. In fact, he acts just the opposite. Perhaps I should discuss this in therapy. I believe that I did, with my father there, and there was no progress. I pretty much have to completely break down in order for my father to show a glimmer of caring, and that's unacceptable. When I was little we were super close and drank coffee and played soccer, and we still watch soccer together, but we don't talk. And now I find him to be almost an embarrassment, and that just makes me sad. No one should feel embarrassed of their parents, no matter how fucked up they are. And he could be worse. At least he pays for my school. And my medicine. And my therapy and my psychiatrist. Financial support is a pretty sweet deal, even if it has to replace a real parental relationship. He doesn't realize that I give him credit for whatever he does, good or bad. That's part of the problem. 

Twitter is taking over my life. 

YouTube is fantastic. 

My brain cannot process anything except feelings. I can't really make a coherent thought. I can't read. 
I can, however, shop. And I can discuss my feelings. Fail. 

Oh, I really like something I have. I forgot what it was. See? Brain Fail.  

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