One of these days, I'll have something nice to say. Honest.
Something in this room smells like a mixture of vomit and urine, and that both disturbs and disgusts me at the same time. What the fuck is it? And WHERE? It has to go. It is really gross.
I have been rather displeased with people lately, but I am not completely sure why. I blame it on my mood. Then I wonder if my mood can be blamed on people? I never blame my mood on people. I accept full responsibility for my feelings, unlike most. Stupid people.
Anyway, I feel rather down on people at the moment. The other night, a friend of mine wanted me to hang out with him, and because I hadn't seen him in a long time, I said okay. I insisted that another friend come along though. All of my friends smoke. All of them. I do not smoke. I cannot smoke, and more than that, I cannot be around smoke. It is physically painful for me to be around smoke. One would think one's friends would care and be considerate of this, right? Mine are not. They actually acted as if I were being bitchy simply for the sake of being bitchy.
I expect too much from people, obviously, when it comes to considering other people and other people's health. Being asthmatic, I've always had this problem. People don't understand, so they don't care.
My own mother doesn't even take consideration for me. She is always smoking in the house, and she always has. I have heard my doctors tell my mother that they (i.e. my parents) should not smoke around me AT ALL throughout my entire life, yet she still smokes around me. When I was hospitalized for pneumonia, I thought my mother might stop being selfish and stop smoking around me. I was wrong. I find her smoking in the house all the time, and as soon as I smell the smoke, my chest begins to tighten. I have asked her repeatedly to stop, and she ignores me.
If my own mother doesn't respect my lungs, how can I expect anyone else to do so?
It makes me so fucking angry.
Apparently most people don't understand how painful it is to be unable to breathe. It is unlike most other pains. Having experienced a good deal of them myself, I am confident saying so. (I don't care how that sounds. I am really pissed off.) It makes me so angry to hear people complain about pain to me and act as if I have never been in pain is the thing I'm getting at here. It drives me insane. I have more to say, but I am too not-in-the-mood to bother.
No one will read it anyway! Ha.
I am going to find that smell and get rid of it. It is so fucking disgusting. Ugh.
P.S. I love random tags!
P.P.S I tried to make a list of ten things about which to be happy today, but I could only think of five things. I should have just made a list of things about which to be happy, that way I could have made my list and felt better. I fuck myself up too much.