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06 May 2009

I am obsessed with talking about myself all the time.

Narcissistic      


 

I found this adorable thing that I think is so cute. It is from Glitzy Glam, which is the store of a YouTube person I watch (makeup--yay), and I just like it. So I'm going to show a photo.
So cute! And since I'll be 21 this year and totally drinking tons of wine (because I just love it so much, you know), I am pretty sure it needs to be in my possession. So cute! They have lots of other cute stuff, too, but I don't feel the need to own any of the other things. I wanted this cute keychain, but then I realized I only carry one or two keys at a time, since I lost my house keys (with the key to my bedroom and my handcuffs and my extra car key), so I don't really need a super cute keychain. I have my amazing Invader Zim one, and that's all I need since I only carry my car key most of the time. 

So I finally got to see Robert! Super exciting. We went to the book store and the Whole Foods and GNC to see if they had melatonin and if so precisely how much it costs, and that was fun. I'm trying to find things that will help me sleep since nothing really helps me sleep when I can't sleep. Luckily I've been able to sleep lately, but that probably won't last for long, and I also like anything that calms me down. I need to be calm. While at Whole foods, Robert showed me some cream sodas that he thinks are delicious, and I found birch soda. I am really intrigued by this. He said it tasted like root beer. I like root beer, if it's good. So---I am tempted to go buy some. I also found something for which I have been searching for a very long time, but I forgot what it was. I'll know next time I'm in a Whole Foods. We also went to this scary gas station, and I found the Belgian beer with the elephants on the bottle! I can't remember the name of it, but it's cute. It has dancing alligators on it, too! I also discovered that He'Brew beer is pomegranate ale, which sounds really weird. Other than all of that stuff, I'm just happy I got to see Robert. I see him like once a year. That's sad. 

I am definitely seeing my doctor about this face thing. I'm very disturbed by it. It feels like my entire face is a bruise. Even if I don't touch it, there is a mild, dull pain in my entire face. It's the weirdest thing I've ever felt, and there are few things to which I can attribute such a thing, none of them particularly pleasant (but neither is the face pain). 

Today I got some precious photos of Pierre and Horus Cat napping together. Cuuuuuuute. Pierre is such a precious, little pup! I wuvz him. I am in a particularly effervescent mood. That's good. I like being happy. 

On my way home I saw a precious bunny rabbit. I love animalsez. Happy. 

I am very seriously considering doubling in biology and anthropology. I love anthropology. And I love biology. Two for..two! yay! 

I am super sleepy, but love dove is coming to see me! yay! I am saying "yay" an awful lot.

I have been thinking about a lot of things lately, and I feel so good about all of the things of which I have thought. I feel like I am really beginning to understand myself and my motivations and so many other things. It's super fun and exciting, and it's weird, too, because I thought I knew myself better than this. I will discuss this stuff with my therapist. This is progress. This is amazing. 

Maybe this scary drug isn't so bad. Maybe it's having a good effect on me? But I still can't focus on things. I'm not sure. I really need to think about things and figure out what is going on in my little head. I was reading some books with Robert at the store, and I had to have him explain several, simple SENTENCES to me just because my brain is so all over the place that I can't always interpret things I should. It goes into my head in a jumbled, convoluted mess, and I am like "wtf does this say?!" It's sad because I'm smart. 

2 comments:

Me Sir said...

I am in my 30s and my depression and ocd still do that to my brain. I am smart, but there are times the lack of concentration can make me look forgetful.

Sexy pic. Happy Bday.

k said...

Thank you for the kind words.

It's particularly frustrating to be unable to intelligently discuss things simply because I can't stay on topic. You'd think someone would have found a way to fix that by now.

Best wishes to you.