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05 May 2009

I just need to soak in the fact that I don't have to do anything for THREE MONTHS.

Three months gives me lots of time to ponder my life. I can figure out what's wrong with me. I can play with my meds more. I can get better. I can relax. I can go to the hospital if I want without stressing about missing something important! because sometimes I miss that place so much. I can go to the park and sleep on a bench. (except not) I can go to the library. I can sleep. (I hope) I can shop. (I could do that anyway) 

Which reminds me: I bought new nail polish! and a new eyeshadow. I don't know why I bought the eye shadow because it's green, and I have at least two green eyeshadows in that color already. Whatevs. I have it, and I have a plan for it. If only I had friends and stuff who went out with me, I could use these makeup plans. My life sucks. I am not who I was born to be.
The nail polish is a China Glaze cream color called Shower Together. It's from the Ecollection, which I love. I can't find all the colors at any stores around me, but I collect them as I find them. So I have two colors from it thus far. I have four from the summer collection. I don't like the summer collection all that much. I don't like glittery nail polish all that much. So. Shower Together is a gorgeous blue green, like a pretty ocean. (I have never seen a pretty ocean.) I painted my nails with Wild Mink (bright pink--gorgeous) last night when my hands finally stopped shaking, and they look OK. I also shortened all of them because I was just tired of them being super long. (stupid healthy nails) So my nails look good today. They'll probably look good for a week or so. It doesn't matter though because I'm not going anywhere. 

I was supposed to hang out with Robert today. I slept a lot today, and this morning I typed out the annotated bibliography and mailed it to my teacher, and I don't know. I am feeling particularly unwell. Just not good at all. 

I have a pretty good idea of what I shall discuss in my final essay for English, but I am not sure what I will do about the extra credit essay on Milton's Paradise Lost. It's only the first two books, but that is almost the problem for me. I don't know how to write about a part of something, not the whole. I don't know. I obviously don't have to do it because it's extra credit, but I have to do it because I got a 52 on the first test. And I have to do it well. 

Tomorrow I start studying for my history final. I am going to study so hardcore. I absolutely cannot fail. It is not a choice. 
I do not have to study very hard for my psychology final because it's easy, and it's stuff I already know, but we have to take two tests. Also, I never did the book report, and my teacher would not let me turn it in late, so I have a missing grade. I need to do well on the final to get like..a C probably. This semester is going to destroy my GPA, even if I don't fail anything. Ugh. 

I also must add that I am rather pleased to have found cute shorts that look cute on me. I happen to buy and own a lot of shirts that only look cute with shorts. So I need more than like one pair. I do have my safari shorts, of course, but I never go on safaris! Hmph. 

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